{"book": "b1", "chapter": 1, "title": "In Which a Hero Is Volunteered", "pages": [{"id": "c1p1", "title": "Morning in Puddingshire", "scene": "s1_stables", "chars": ["pip", "honk"], "tutorial": true, "skippable": false, "mood": "whimsy", "paras": [{"anchor": false, "segs": ["Every morning in Puddingshire began the same way. The sun came up, the bakers came out, and Pip Bramblewick, stable hand to the Crown, ", {"slot": "v1", "kind": "verb", "gold": false, "orig": "shoveled", "form": "past", "who": "pip", "opts": [{"id": "lex.verb.sulk", "v": "sulked", "flip": false, "react": "Sulked. I know the feeling. I'm doing it now."}, {"id": "lex.verb.skip", "v": "skipped", "flip": false, "react": "Skipping. Merrily, I suppose. Everything is merry now. Wonderful."}, {"id": "lex.verb.gossip", "v": "gossiped", "flip": false, "react": "Gossiping. Don't look at me. I only report what happened."}, {"id": "lex.verb.bellow", "v": "bellowed", "flip": false, "react": "Bellowed. Inside voices, please. This is very nearly a library."}, {"id": "lex.verb.warble", "v": "warbled", "flip": false, "react": "Warbling. High, wobbly and far too long. Rather like this chapter, now."}, {"id": "lex.verb.knit", "v": "knitted", "flip": false, "react": "Knitting. In the middle of the action. I suppose somebody has to make the scarves."}, {"id": "lex.verb.haggle", "v": "haggled", "flip": false, "react": "Haggled. Over what, I can't think. Everything in this book is free. Except my patience."}, {"id": "lex.verb.yodel", "v": "yodelled", "flip": false, "react": "Yodelling. Of course. The mountains will be furious."}, {"id": "lex.verb.wriggle", "v": "wriggled", "flip": false, "react": "Wriggled. Like a worm in a bad mood."}, {"id": "lex.verb.juggle", "v": "juggled", "flip": false, "react": "Juggling. Nobody asked for juggling. Nobody ever asks for juggling."}, {"id": "lex.verb.dither", "v": "dithered", "flip": false, "react": "Dithered. At the most important moment. A bold choice. Or not. Hard to say."}, {"id": "lex.verb.nibble", "v": "nibbled", "flip": false, "react": "Nibbled. Tiny bites. Rather like the ones you keep taking out of my career."}, {"id": "lex.verb.waddle", "v": "waddled", "flip": false, "react": "Waddled. You've made it waddle. With dignity, I hope. No? No dignity at all."}, {"id": "lex.verb.slurp", "v": "slurped", "flip": false, "react": "Slurped. Audibly. I can hear it from here."}], "state": null, "classes": null}, " up whatever the royal horses had left for him."]}, {"anchor": false, "segs": ["Pip did not mind. Between shovels, he practiced heroic poses with his ", {"slot": "s1", "kind": "noun", "gold": false, "orig": "pitchfork", "opts": [{"id": "lex.noun.pudding", "v": "pudding", "text": "Pip did not mind. Between shovels, he practiced heroic poses with his pudding. There was the Lunge, which wobbled bravely. There was the Gaze Into the Distance, which sagged slightly. There was the one where he pointed at the sky and shouted \"For Puddingshire!\" and a startled pigeon fell off the roof, possibly from custard-related concern.", "flip": false, "react": "Naturally, heroism now requires a dessert fork."}, {"id": "lex.noun.mop", "v": "mop", "text": "Pip did not mind. Between shovels, he practiced heroic poses with his mop. There was the Lunge, damp and noble. There was the Gaze Into the Distance, with strings in his ear. There was the one where he pointed at the sky and shouted \"For Puddingshire!\" and a startled pigeon fell off the roof, freshly threatened by cleanliness.", "flip": false, "react": "At last, a champion with absorbent qualities."}, {"id": "lex.noun.teapot", "v": "teapot", "text": "Pip did not mind. Between shovels, he practiced heroic poses with his teapot. There was the Lunge, spout first. There was the Gaze Into the Distance, while something inside clicked its tiny teeth. There was the one where he pointed at the sky and shouted \"For Puddingshire!\" and a startled pigeon fell off the roof before tea could be served.", "flip": false, "react": "I object to cookware with dental ambitions."}, {"id": "lex.noun.trombone", "v": "trombone", "text": "Pip did not mind. Between shovels, he practiced heroic poses with his trombone. There was the Lunge, which went \"bworp.\" There was the Gaze Into the Distance, which went \"hwaa.\" There was the one where he pointed at the sky and shouted \"For Puddingshire!\" and a startled pigeon fell off the roof in perfect time.", "flip": false, "react": "Subtlety has left the stable by the brass exit."}, {"id": "lex.noun.sock", "v": "sock", "text": "Pip did not mind. Between shovels, he practiced heroic poses with his sock. There was the Lunge, lonely but determined. There was the Gaze Into the Distance, as if its matching sock might return from war. There was the one where he pointed at the sky and shouted \"For Puddingshire!\" and a startled pigeon fell off the roof from secondhand embarrassment.", "flip": false, "react": "One sock. One destiny. No dignity."}, {"id": "lex.noun.cabbage", "v": "cabbage", "text": "Pip did not mind. Between shovels, he practiced heroic poses with his cabbage. There was the Lunge, green and solemn. There was the Gaze Into the Distance, with leaves arranged like a tiny helmet. There was the one where he pointed at the sky and shouted \"For Puddingshire!\" and a startled pigeon fell off the roof, respecting its dignity too late.", "flip": false, "react": "Behold, the salad course of valor."}, {"id": "lex.noun.crumpet", "v": "crumpet", "text": "Pip did not mind. Between shovels, he practiced heroic poses with his crumpet. There was the Lunge, buttery side shining. There was the Gaze Into the Distance, which absorbed a heroic amount of jam. There was the one where he pointed at the sky and shouted \"For Puddingshire!\" and a startled pigeon fell off the roof, hungry and confused.", "flip": false, "react": "A toasted champion. How very structurally unsound."}, {"id": "lex.noun.wheelbarrow", "v": "wheelbarrow", "text": "Pip did not mind. Between shovels, he practiced heroic poses with his wheelbarrow. There was the Lunge, which squeaked forward six inches. There was the Gaze Into the Distance, performed over one rusty handle. There was the one where he pointed at the sky and shouted \"For Puddingshire!\" and a startled pigeon fell off the roof into a convenient transport situation.", "flip": false, "react": "Heroism now comes with one wheel and complaints."}, {"id": "lex.noun.accordion", "v": "accordion", "text": "Pip did not mind. Between shovels, he practiced heroic poses with his accordion. There was the Lunge, wheezing in and out. There was the Gaze Into the Distance, accompanied by a tragic little chord. There was the one where he pointed at the sky and shouted \"For Puddingshire!\" and a startled pigeon fell off the roof on the final squeeze.", "flip": false, "react": "Nothing says readiness like portable wheezing."}, {"id": "lex.noun.snail", "v": "snail", "text": "Pip did not mind. Between shovels, he practiced heroic poses with his snail. There was the Lunge, eventually. There was the Gaze Into the Distance, which the snail had already begun yesterday. There was the one where he pointed at the sky and shouted \"For Puddingshire!\" and a startled pigeon fell off the roof while waiting for the salute to arrive.", "flip": false, "react": "A brisk campaign, by geological standards."}, {"id": "lex.noun.umbrella", "v": "umbrella", "text": "Pip did not mind. Between shovels, he practiced heroic poses with his umbrella. There was the Lunge, neatly opened indoors. There was the Gaze Into the Distance, under a private drizzle that nobody wished to explain. There was the one where he pointed at the sky and shouted \"For Puddingshire!\" and a startled pigeon fell off the roof, quite dry.", "flip": false, "react": "Indoor weather. Because stables lacked complications."}, {"id": "lex.noun.spoon", "v": "spoon", "text": "Pip did not mind. Between shovels, he practiced heroic poses with his spoon. It was commemorative, though nobody remembered what for. There was the Lunge. There was the Gaze Into the Distance, reflected upside down in the bowl. There was the one where he pointed at the sky and shouted \"For Puddingshire!\" and a startled pigeon fell off the roof, briefly engraved in memory.", "flip": false, "react": "A keepsake of battles not yet politely avoided."}, {"id": "lex.noun.bishop", "v": "bishop", "text": "Pip did not mind. Between shovels, he practiced heroic poses with his bishop. The bishop's eyebrows did most of the work. There was the Lunge, awkwardly shared. There was the Gaze Into the Distance, stern and theological. There was the one where Pip pointed at the sky and shouted \"For Puddingshire!\" and a startled pigeon fell off the roof out of respect.", "flip": false, "react": "I did not approve a clergy-based exercise regimen."}, {"id": "lex.noun.wardrobe", "v": "haunted wardrobe", "text": "Pip did not mind. Between shovels, he practiced heroic poses with his haunted wardrobe. There was the Lunge, which was difficult for furniture. There was the Gaze Into the Distance, through a crack in the doors where something shyly glowed. There was the one where he pointed at the sky and shouted \"For Puddingshire!\" and a startled pigeon fell off the roof, then apologized to the wardrobe.", "flip": false, "react": "Furniture should not need comforting after hero practice."}], "state": "pip_tool", "classes": ["object", "food", "creature", "person"]}, ". There was the Lunge. There was the Gaze Into the Distance. There was the one where he pointed at the sky and shouted \"For Puddingshire!\" and a ", {"slot": "s2", "kind": "adj", "gold": false, "orig": "startled", "opts": [{"id": "lex.adj.damp", "v": "damp", "text": "Pip did not mind. Between shovels, he practiced heroic poses with his pitchfork. There was the Lunge. There was the Gaze Into the Distance. There was the one where he pointed at the sky and shouted \"For Puddingshire!\" and a damp pigeon slid off the roof with a noise like a sponge losing an argument.", "flip": false, "react": "Naturally, even the pigeons are under-weathered."}, {"id": "lex.adj.tiny", "v": "tiny", "text": "Pip did not mind. Between shovels, he practiced heroic poses with his pitchfork. There was the Lunge. There was the Gaze Into the Distance. There was the one where he pointed at the sky and shouted \"For Puddingshire!\" and a tiny pigeon fell off the roof. It landed in a hoofprint, indignant and very small.", "flip": false, "react": "A miniature casualty of excessive enthusiasm. Splendid."}, {"id": "lex.adj.enormous", "v": "enormous", "text": "Pip did not mind. Between shovels, he practiced heroic poses with his pitchfork. There was the Lunge. There was the Gaze Into the Distance. There was the one where he pointed at the sky and shouted \"For Puddingshire!\" and an enormous pigeon fell off the roof. Three shingles, one gutter, and Pip's dignity went with it.", "flip": false, "react": "That is less a pigeon than a feathered problem."}, {"id": "lex.adj.sparkly", "v": "sparkly", "text": "Pip did not mind. Between shovels, he practiced heroic poses with his pitchfork. There was the Lunge. There was the Gaze Into the Distance. There was the one where he pointed at the sky and shouted \"For Puddingshire!\" and a sparkly pigeon fell off the roof, scattering glitter onto the trough, the cobbles, and one deeply unimpressed horse.", "flip": false, "react": "Heroism, now with impossible cleanup."}, {"id": "lex.adj.haunted", "v": "haunted", "text": "Pip did not mind. Between shovels, he practiced heroic poses with his pitchfork. There was the Lunge. There was the Gaze Into the Distance. There was the one where he pointed at the sky and shouted \"For Puddingshire!\" and a haunted pigeon fell off the roof. It cooed once, twice, and then accused a chimney of betrayal.", "flip": false, "react": "Even the poultry has unfinished business, apparently."}, {"id": "lex.adj.sleepy", "v": "sleepy", "text": "Pip did not mind. Between shovels, he practiced heroic poses with his pitchfork. There was the Lunge. There was the Gaze Into the Distance. There was the one where he pointed at the sky and shouted \"For Puddingshire!\" and a sleepy pigeon rolled off the roof, yawned in midair, and kept dreaming all the way down.", "flip": false, "react": "The bird showed more composure than Pip, regrettably."}, {"id": "lex.adj.suspicious", "v": "suspicious", "text": "Pip did not mind. Between shovels, he practiced heroic poses with his pitchfork. There was the Lunge. There was the Gaze Into the Distance. There was the one where he pointed at the sky and shouted \"For Puddingshire!\" and a suspicious pigeon fell off the roof. It landed, narrowed both eyes, and clearly blamed Pip's footwear.", "flip": false, "react": "At last, a pigeon with standards."}, {"id": "lex.adj.fluffy", "v": "fluffy", "text": "Pip did not mind. Between shovels, he practiced heroic poses with his pitchfork. There was the Lunge. There was the Gaze Into the Distance. There was the one where he pointed at the sky and shouted \"For Puddingshire!\" and a fluffy pigeon fell off the roof. It bounced once, twice, and then looked offended by gravity.", "flip": false, "react": "Gravity has never respected plumage."}, {"id": "lex.adj.legally", "v": "legally distinct", "text": "Pip did not mind. Between shovels, he practiced heroic poses with his pitchfork. There was the Lunge. There was the Gaze Into the Distance. There was the one where he pointed at the sky and shouted \"For Puddingshire!\" and a legally distinct pigeon fell off the roof. It was not, according to a small tag, any famous pigeon whatsoever.", "flip": false, "react": "Ah yes, the solicitor-bird. Perfectly necessary."}, {"id": "lex.adj.sticky", "v": "sticky", "text": "Pip did not mind. Between shovels, he practiced heroic poses with his pitchfork. There was the Lunge. There was the Gaze Into the Distance. There was the one where he pointed at the sky and shouted \"For Puddingshire!\" and a sticky pigeon fell off the roof. It did not fall far. It clung to the gutter, the air, and then Pip's hat.", "flip": false, "react": "One cannot simply add adhesive to a bird."}, {"id": "lex.adj.majestic", "v": "majestic", "text": "Pip did not mind. Between shovels, he practiced heroic poses with his pitchfork. There was the Lunge. There was the Gaze Into the Distance. There was the one where he pointed at the sky and shouted \"For Puddingshire!\" and a majestic pigeon fell off the roof. It descended like a king, landed like a sack, and bowed to nobody.", "flip": false, "react": "Regal, yes. Competent, no."}, {"id": "lex.adj.upsidedown", "v": "upside down", "text": "Pip did not mind. Between shovels, he practiced heroic poses with his pitchfork. There was the Lunge. There was the Gaze Into the Distance. There was the one where he pointed at the sky and shouted \"For Puddingshire!\" and an upside down pigeon fell off the roof. Its feet bicycled at the clouds as if the sky owed it rent.", "flip": false, "react": "Anatomy has filed a formal complaint."}], "state": null, "classes": null}, " pigeon fell off the roof."]}, {"anchor": false, "segs": ["He had been practicing for ", {"slot": "s3", "kind": "num", "gold": false, "orig": "three", "opts": [{"id": "num.zero", "v": "zero", "text": "He had been practicing for zero years, which is to say he had begun after breakfast and was already committed. He had never been asked to save anything, but he liked to be ready. \"A hero,\" Pip told the horses, \"is just a stable hand who got lucky and stretched first.\"", "flip": false, "react": "Ah yes, instant expertise. The breakfast kind."}, {"id": "num.one", "v": "one", "text": "He had been practicing for one year. Long enough to name the poses, short enough to still bow to the manure rake by mistake. He had never been asked to save anything, but he liked to be ready. \"A hero,\" Pip told the horses, \"is just a stable hand who got lucky.\"", "flip": false, "react": "One year, and already lecturing the livestock."}, {"id": "num.two", "v": "two", "text": "He had been practicing for two years. The first year was mostly wobbling. The second was wobbling with purpose. He had never been asked to save anything, but he liked to be ready. \"A hero,\" Pip told the horses, \"is just a stable hand who got lucky.\"", "flip": false, "react": "Two years of preparation, half of it vertical."}, {"id": "num.seven", "v": "seven", "text": "He had been practicing for seven years. He had outlasted three pairs of boots, two heroic scarves, and one extremely patient pitchfork. He had never been asked to save anything, but he liked to be ready. \"A hero,\" Pip told the horses, \"is just a stable hand who got lucky.\"", "flip": false, "react": "Seven years. Even destiny was checking its calendar."}, {"id": "num.twelve", "v": "twelve", "text": "He had been practicing for twelve years. By then his Lunge had local respect, his Gaze had weathered summers, and his sky-pointing had its own dent in the clouds. He had never been asked to save anything, but he liked to be ready. \"A hero,\" Pip told the horses, \"is just a stable hand who got lucky.\"", "flip": false, "react": "Twelve years of posing. The clouds filed a complaint."}, {"id": "num.a hundred", "v": "a hundred", "text": "He had been practicing for a hundred years, which made little sense and did not improve his knees. Puddingshire politely pretended not to notice. He had never been asked to save anything, but he liked to be ready. \"A hero,\" Pip told the horses, \"is just a stable hand who got lucky.\"", "flip": true, "react": "A hundred years? Splendid. Time has fallen in the trough."}, {"id": "num.three hundred", "v": "three hundred", "text": "He had been practicing for three hundred years. Generations of royal horses had watched him pose, sneeze, and point bravely at the same innocent patch of sky. He had never been asked to save anything, but he liked to be ready. \"A hero,\" Pip told the horses, \"is just a stable hand who got lucky.\"", "flip": true, "react": "Three hundred years, and still no promotion. Remarkable governance."}, {"id": "num.a thousand", "v": "a thousand", "text": "He had been practicing for a thousand years. The stable had been repaired, rebuilt, and argued about by scholars while Pip kept lunging beside the buckets. He had never been asked to save anything, but he liked to be ready. \"A hero,\" Pip told the horses, \"is just a stable hand who got lucky.\"", "flip": true, "react": "A thousand years of readiness. Someone alert the minutes."}, {"id": "num.a million", "v": "a million", "text": "He had been practicing for a million years. Mountains had frowned, rivers had wandered off, and Pip had still found time to polish his heroic pointing finger. He had never been asked to save anything, but he liked to be ready. \"A hero,\" Pip told the horses, \"is just a stable hand who got lucky.\"", "flip": true, "react": "A million years. Naturally, the horses remained unimpressed."}], "state": null, "classes": null}, " years. He had ", {"slot": "s4", "kind": "erase", "gold": true, "orig": "never", "opts": [{"id": "erase", "v": "", "text": "He had been practicing for three years. He had been asked to save things, in fact. A kitten from a flour sack. A crown from a pudding. A mayor from his own ceremonial sash. None of these had required a proper cape, but Pip liked to be ready. \"A hero,\" Pip told the horses, \"is just a stable hand who got lucky and then got asked again.\"", "flip": true, "react": "Ah, experience. How inconvenient for my underdog structure."}], "state": null, "classes": null}, " been asked to save anything, but he liked to be ready. \"A hero,\" Pip told the horses, \"is just a stable hand who got ", {"slot": "s5", "kind": "typo", "gold": false, "orig": "lucky", "opts": [{"id": "typo.plucky", "v": "plucky", "text": "He had been practicing for three years. He had never been asked to save anything, but he liked to be ready. He polished his boots, squared his shoulders, and once saluted a bucket. \"A hero,\" Pip told the horses, \"is just a stable hand who got plucky.\"", "flip": false, "react": "Naturally, courage now requires bucket salutes."}, {"id": "typo.clucky", "v": "clucky", "text": "He had been practicing for three years. He had never been asked to save anything, but he liked to be ready. He puffed his chest, scratched the straw, and gave one thoughtful peck at breakfast. \"A hero,\" Pip told the horses, \"is just a stable hand who got clucky.\"", "flip": false, "react": "Splendid. The hero's journey now includes poultry technique."}], "state": null, "classes": null}, ".\""]}, {"anchor": true, "segs": ["From the top of the water trough, ", {"slot": "s6", "kind": "char", "gold": false, "orig": "Admiral Honk", "opts": [{"id": "lex.char.thistle", "v": "Grandma Thistle", "text": "From the top of the water trough, Grandma Thistle watched all of this with one sharp eye. Thistle was a tiny retired sword-swallower. Nobody had asked her to inspect Pip's heroic posture. She had simply started correcting his elbows with knitting needles, and after a while it was safer for everyone to agree.", "flip": false, "react": "Naturally, the goose has been replaced by a tactical grandmother."}, {"id": "lex.char.ducks", "v": "A Committee of Ducks", "text": "From the top of the water trough, A Committee of Ducks watched all of this with five cold eyes and one eye mostly asleep. They were ducks. Nobody had made them a committee. They had simply arrived in neckties, voted on Pip's poses, tied the vote, and quacked until everyone agreed.", "flip": false, "react": "Democracy waddles in, immediately blocks the trough."}, {"id": "lex.char.bear", "v": "A Very Polite Bear", "text": "From the top of the water trough, A Very Polite Bear watched all of this with one apologetic eye. He was, regrettably, a bear. Nobody had invited him onto the trough. He had simply climbed up, said sorry to the wood, sorry to the water, and after a while everyone agreed very quietly.", "flip": false, "react": "A bear on plumbing. Splendid structural choices, as ever."}, {"id": "lex.char.crumbsworth", "v": "Sir Crumbsworth", "text": "From the top of the water trough, Sir Crumbsworth watched all of this with one sugared eye. Crumbsworth was a ginger biscuit knight. Nobody had made him commander of stableyard morale. He had simply saluted with his icing sword, shed three crumbs, and after a while it was easier for everyone to agree.", "flip": false, "react": "At last, military leadership with a shelf life."}, {"id": "lex.char.gary", "v": "Gary, the Night Janitor", "text": "From the top of the water trough, Gary, the Night Janitor watched all of this with one gentle eye. Gary was huge, quiet, and holding a broom. Nobody knew why he was in this scene. He had simply started sweeping around Pip's boots, and after a while it was easier for everyone to agree.", "flip": false, "react": "Ah yes, Gary. The narrative's unexplained custodial department."}], "state": "sidekick", "classes": null}, " ", {"slot": "v2", "kind": "verb", "gold": false, "orig": "watched", "form": "past", "who": "honk", "opts": [{"id": "lex.verb.pirouette", "v": "pirouetted", "flip": false, "react": "A pirouette. Lovely form. Dreadful timing."}, {"id": "lex.verb.snore", "v": "snored", "flip": false, "react": "Snored. Mid sentence. I'm told that is my effect on audiences."}, {"id": "lex.verb.haggle", "v": "haggled", "flip": false, "react": "Haggled. Over what, I can't think. Everything in this book is free. Except my patience."}, {"id": "lex.verb.tapdance", "v": "tap danced", "flip": false, "react": "Tap danced. I can hear the clicking. I'll be hearing it for weeks."}, {"id": "lex.verb.gallop", "v": "galloped", "flip": false, "react": "Galloped. With no horse. I want that noted."}, {"id": "lex.verb.serenade", "v": "serenaded", "flip": false, "react": "A serenade. Romantic. Wildly unsuitable. Carry on."}, {"id": "lex.verb.flounce", "v": "flounced", "flip": false, "react": "Flounced. With a flick of the scarf. I do respect a good flounce."}, {"id": "lex.verb.hulahoop", "v": "hula hooped", "flip": false, "react": "Hula hooping. There were no hoops in the original. I counted."}, {"id": "lex.verb.tango", "v": "tangoed", "flip": false, "react": "A tango. One does not tango alone. And yet here we are."}, {"id": "lex.verb.sneeze", "v": "sneezed", "flip": false, "react": "Sneezed. Bless you. Bless the whole sentence. It needs it."}, {"id": "lex.verb.waltz", "v": "waltzed", "flip": false, "react": "Waltzed. One two three, one two three, oh, it's ruined, one two three."}, {"id": "lex.verb.gossip", "v": "gossiped", "flip": false, "react": "Gossiping. Don't look at me. I only report what happened."}, {"id": "lex.verb.hiccup", "v": "hiccupped", "flip": false, "react": "Hiccupped. Hold your breath and count to ten. Not you. The story."}, {"id": "lex.verb.juggle", "v": "juggled", "flip": false, "react": "Juggling. Nobody asked for juggling. Nobody ever asks for juggling."}], "state": null, "classes": null}, " all of this with one cold eye. Honk was a goose. Nobody had made him an admiral. He had simply started acting like one, and after a while it was easier for everyone to agree."]}], "opener": "Chapter One. In Which a Hero Is Volunteered. Please keep your cards inside the book at all times.", "aside": "For those keeping score: one stable hand, one pitchfork, zero quests. Also, I would keep an eye on the goose. Everyone in this book eventually learns to keep an eye on the goose.", "prize": ["noun", "broom"]}, {"id": "c1p2", "title": "The Herald", "scene": "s2_square", "chars": ["herald"], "tutorial": false, "skippable": false, "mood": "dramatic", "paras": [{"anchor": false, "segs": ["At nine o'clock ", {"slot": "s5", "kind": "char", "gold": false, "orig": "a royal herald", "opts": [{"id": "lex.char.thistle", "v": "Grandma Thistle", "text": "At nine o'clock Grandma Thistle came sprinting down the high street, which was unusual, because retired sword-swallowers do not sprint unless breakfast has insulted them. They stalk. This one was so out of breath that she blew the herald's trumpet backwards and it went \"thpppt.\" Then she corrected a lamppost's posture.", "flip": false, "react": "Naturally, the emergency arrived wearing combat boots."}, {"id": "lex.char.ducks", "v": "A Committee of Ducks", "text": "At nine o'clock A Committee of Ducks came sprinting down the high street, which was unusual, because committees do not sprint. They convene. The five ducks waddled in neckties, voted on whether to hurry, tied as usual, and quacked. One blew the trumpet backwards and it went \"thpppt.\"", "flip": false, "react": "Democracy has rarely sounded so damp."}, {"id": "lex.char.bear", "v": "A Very Polite Bear", "text": "At nine o'clock A Very Polite Bear came sprinting down the high street, which was unusual, because very polite bears do not sprint. They excuse themselves past flowerpots. This one was so out of breath that he apologized to the trumpet, blew it backwards, and it went \"thpppt.\" He apologized to that too.", "flip": false, "react": "Even panic waited its turn with him."}, {"id": "lex.char.crumbsworth", "v": "Sir Crumbsworth", "text": "At nine o'clock Sir Crumbsworth came sprinting down the high street, which was unusual, because biscuit knights do not sprint. They charge, crumble, and deny both. This one was so out of breath that his icing visor fogged. He blew his trumpet backwards and it went \"thpppt,\" scattering one heroic crumb.", "flip": false, "react": "A brave biscuit is still, regrettably, a biscuit."}, {"id": "lex.char.gary", "v": "Gary, the Night Janitor", "text": "At nine o'clock Gary, the Night Janitor came sprinting down the high street, which was unusual, because Gary mostly appeared after things had already happened. He swept, nodded, and vanished. This one was so out of breath that he blew the trumpet backwards and it went \"thpppt.\" Then he swept up the sound.", "flip": false, "react": "Of course Gary had the trumpet. Nobody ever asks why."}], "state": null, "classes": null}, " came ", {"slot": "v1", "kind": "verb", "gold": false, "orig": "sprinting", "form": "ing", "who": "herald", "opts": [{"id": "lex.verb.sulk", "v": "sulking", "flip": false, "react": "Sulked. I know the feeling. I'm doing it now."}, {"id": "lex.verb.harrumph", "v": "harrumphing", "flip": false, "react": "Harrumphed. That is my word. I have been harrumphing professionally for years."}, {"id": "lex.verb.gossip", "v": "gossiping", "flip": false, "react": "Gossiping. Don't look at me. I only report what happened."}, {"id": "lex.verb.warble", "v": "warbling", "flip": false, "react": "Warbling. High, wobbly and far too long. Rather like this chapter, now."}, {"id": "lex.verb.haggle", "v": "haggling", "flip": false, "react": "Haggled. Over what, I can't think. Everything in this book is free. Except my patience."}, {"id": "lex.verb.wriggle", "v": "wriggling", "flip": false, "react": "Wriggled. Like a worm in a bad mood."}, {"id": "lex.verb.juggle", "v": "juggling", "flip": false, "react": "Juggling. Nobody asked for juggling. Nobody ever asks for juggling."}, {"id": "lex.verb.tango", "v": "tangoing", "flip": false, "react": "A tango. One does not tango alone. And yet here we are."}, {"id": "lex.verb.waltz", "v": "waltzing", "flip": false, "react": "Waltzed. One two three, one two three, oh, it's ruined, one two three."}, {"id": "lex.verb.bellow", "v": "bellowing", "flip": false, "react": "Bellowed. Inside voices, please. This is very nearly a library."}, {"id": "lex.verb.tapdance", "v": "tap dancing", "flip": false, "react": "Tap danced. I can hear the clicking. I'll be hearing it for weeks."}, {"id": "lex.verb.flounce", "v": "flouncing", "flip": false, "react": "Flounced. With a flick of the scarf. I do respect a good flounce."}, {"id": "lex.verb.tiptoe", "v": "tiptoeing", "flip": false, "react": "Tiptoed. Then I shall read this bit very quietly, so as not to spoil it."}, {"id": "lex.verb.grovel", "v": "grovelling", "flip": false, "react": "Grovelling. Finally, somebody in this book shows proper respect."}], "state": null, "classes": null}, " down the high street, which was unusual, because royal heralds do not sprint. They stroll. This one was so ", {"slot": "s1", "kind": "adj", "gold": false, "orig": "out of breath", "opts": [{"id": "lex.adj.damp", "v": "damp", "text": "At nine o'clock a royal herald came sprinting down the high street, which was unusual, because royal heralds do not sprint. They stroll. This one was so damp that his boots slapped, his hat dripped, and his scroll had begun to look like breakfast porridge. When he blew his trumpet backwards, a little puddle came out and it went \"thpppt.\"", "flip": false, "react": "Naturally, the message arrived pre-soaked for dramatic emphasis."}, {"id": "lex.adj.tiny", "v": "tiny", "text": "At nine o'clock a royal herald came sprinting down the high street, which was unusual, because royal heralds do not sprint. They stroll. This one was so tiny that he had to leap over pebbles, dandelions, and one very ordinary button. He blew his trumpet backwards with both hands and it went \"thpppt,\" but in a brave little font.", "flip": false, "react": "A miniature crisis is still a crisis, apparently."}, {"id": "lex.adj.enormous", "v": "enormous", "text": "At nine o'clock a royal herald came sprinting down the high street, which was unusual, because royal heralds do not sprint. They stroll. This one was so enormous that awnings ducked, shutters rattled, and the bakery sign politely resigned. He blew his trumpet backwards, which took some planning, and it went \"THPPPT\" all over the market square.", "flip": false, "react": "Subtlety has been trampled by official footwear."}, {"id": "lex.adj.sparkly", "v": "sparkly", "text": "At nine o'clock a royal herald came sprinting down the high street, which was unusual, because royal heralds do not sprint. They stroll. This one was so sparkly that every button flashed, every buckle winked, and three pigeons applauded by mistake. He blew his trumpet backwards and it went \"thpppt,\" scattering a puff of glitter no one had approved.", "flip": false, "react": "Yes, yes, let us bedazzle the emergency."}, {"id": "lex.adj.haunted", "v": "haunted", "text": "At nine o'clock a royal herald came sprinting down the high street, which was unusual, because royal heralds do not sprint. They stroll. This one was so haunted that his shadow lagged behind, his medals whispered, and his hat turned to face the cemetery. He blew his trumpet backwards and it went \"thpppt,\" followed by a tiny, disappointed \"boo.\"", "flip": false, "react": "Excellent. Even the announcement now requires a night-light."}, {"id": "lex.adj.sleepy", "v": "sleepy", "text": "At nine o'clock a royal herald came sprinting down the high street, which was unusual, because royal heralds do not sprint. They stroll. This one was so sleepy that he yawned between cobbles, saluted a lamppost, and nearly delivered himself to the post office. He blew his trumpet backwards and it went \"thpppt,\" then tried to curl up for a nap.", "flip": false, "react": "Nothing says urgency like dozing through one's own trumpet."}, {"id": "lex.adj.suspicious", "v": "suspicious", "text": "At nine o'clock a royal herald came sprinting down the high street, which was unusual, because royal heralds do not sprint. They stroll. This one was so suspicious that he side-eyed the baker, the well, and his own left shoe. He blew his trumpet backwards on purpose, just in case the front was listening, and it went \"thpppt.\"", "flip": false, "react": "At last, paranoia with a municipal uniform."}, {"id": "lex.adj.fluffy", "v": "fluffy", "text": "At nine o'clock a royal herald came sprinting down the high street, which was unusual, because royal heralds do not sprint. They stroll. This one was so fluffy that the wind combed him, children sneezed, and a sparrow considered nesting in his sleeve. He blew his trumpet backwards through the fluff and it went \"thpppt,\" rather like a cushion objecting.", "flip": false, "react": "The kingdom's gravest news now has a nap texture."}, {"id": "lex.adj.legally", "v": "legally distinct", "text": "At nine o'clock a royal herald came sprinting down the high street, which was unusual, because royal heralds do not sprint. They stroll. This one was so legally distinct that his tabard was almost royal blue, his trumpet was nearly a trumpet, and his official badge read \"Herald-ish.\" He blew it backwards and it went \"thpppt,\" which no court could prove otherwise.", "flip": false, "react": "I see the lawyers have invaded the stationery drawer."}, {"id": "lex.adj.sticky", "v": "sticky", "text": "At nine o'clock a royal herald came sprinting down the high street, which was unusual, because royal heralds do not sprint. They stroll. This one was so sticky that leaves clung to him, dust joined in, and one unfortunate bun traveled three streets on his elbow. He blew his trumpet backwards, briefly stuck to it, and it went \"thpppt.\"", "flip": false, "react": "Splendid. The announcement now collects lint."}, {"id": "lex.adj.majestic", "v": "majestic", "text": "At nine o'clock a royal herald came sprinting down the high street, which was unusual, because royal heralds do not sprint. They stroll. This one was so majestic that even while sprinting he seemed to glide, gleam, and mildly judge the cobblestones. He blew his trumpet backwards with noble seriousness and it went \"thpppt,\" which rather spoiled the crownly effect.", "flip": false, "react": "Majesty, meet the sound of a damp turnip."}, {"id": "lex.adj.upsidedown", "v": "upside down", "text": "At nine o'clock a royal herald came sprinting down the high street, which was unusual, because royal heralds do not sprint. They stroll. This one was so upside down that his hat scraped the cobbles, his boots waved at chimneys, and his expression had moved to the wrong end of concern. He blew his trumpet backwards, or perhaps forwards, and it went \"thpppt.\"", "flip": false, "react": "Perspective has resigned, and frankly I sympathize."}], "state": null, "classes": null}, " that he blew his trumpet backwards and it went \"thpppt.\""]}, {"anchor": true, "segs": ["\"Hear ye!\" he gasped, clinging to the well. \"The Princess Clementine has been carried off by a ", {"slot": "s2", "kind": "noun", "gold": false, "orig": "dragon", "opts": [{"id": "lex.noun.pudding", "v": "pudding", "text": "\"Hear ye!\" he gasped, clinging to the well and smelling faintly of custard. \"The Princess Clementine has been carried off by a pudding! A big one! With wings! I saw the wings wobble!\"", "flip": true, "react": "Aviation custard. Naturally, the realm was unprepared."}, {"id": "lex.noun.mop", "v": "mop", "text": "\"Hear ye!\" he gasped, clinging to the well with damp sleeves. \"The Princess Clementine has been carried off by a mop! A big one! With wings! I saw the wings! Also the bucket, but chiefly the wings!\"", "flip": true, "react": "At last, treason with excellent floor coverage."}, {"id": "lex.noun.teapot", "v": "teapot", "text": "\"Hear ye!\" he gasped, clinging to the well while steam curled from his hat. \"The Princess Clementine has been carried off by a teapot! A big one! With wings! I saw the wings! I saw the teeth, too, which teapots ought not have!\"", "flip": true, "react": "One expects tea, not abduction and dental work."}, {"id": "lex.noun.trombone", "v": "trombone", "text": "\"Hear ye!\" he gasped, clinging to the well as if it were the last quiet thing in town. \"The Princess Clementine has been carried off by a trombone! A big one! With wings! I saw the wings! I heard the rest of it!\"", "flip": true, "react": "Heroism is harder when the villain enters in B-flat."}, {"id": "lex.noun.sock", "v": "sock", "text": "\"Hear ye!\" he gasped, clinging to the well and holding his nose with royal dignity. \"The Princess Clementine has been carried off by a sock! A big one! With wings! I saw the wings! It was lonely, but very determined!\"", "flip": true, "react": "Laundry day has finally overreached itself."}, {"id": "lex.noun.cabbage", "v": "cabbage", "text": "\"Hear ye!\" he gasped, clinging to the well and scattering pale green leaves. \"The Princess Clementine has been carried off by a cabbage! A big one! With wings! I saw the wings! It looked dignified, which made it worse!\"", "flip": true, "react": "Behold, the leafy menace of state affairs."}, {"id": "lex.noun.crumpet", "v": "crumpet", "text": "\"Hear ye!\" he gasped, clinging to the well with butter on one cuff. \"The Princess Clementine has been carried off by a crumpet! A big one! With wings! I saw the wings! I saw the little toasted holes!\"", "flip": true, "react": "Breakfast has become ambitious, and frankly rude."}, {"id": "lex.noun.wheelbarrow", "v": "wheelbarrow", "text": "\"Hear ye!\" he gasped, clinging to the well while something squeaked far away. \"The Princess Clementine has been carried off by a wheelbarrow! A big one! With wings! I saw the wings! I heard the wheel complain!\"", "flip": true, "react": "Transportation has crossed a very squeaky line."}, {"id": "lex.noun.accordion", "v": "accordion", "text": "\"Hear ye!\" he gasped, clinging to the well as wheezy music chased him down the street. \"The Princess Clementine has been carried off by an accordion! A big one! With wings! I saw the wings! It breathed in, out, and treasonously!\"", "flip": true, "react": "Nothing says peril like airborne squeezing."}, {"id": "lex.noun.snail", "v": "snail", "text": "\"Hear ye!\" he gasped, clinging to the well, though he had plenty of time to arrive calmly. \"The Princess Clementine has been carried off by a snail! A big one! With wings! I saw the wings! It bowed first, which was unsettling!\"", "flip": true, "react": "A slow abduction is still an abduction, apparently."}, {"id": "lex.noun.umbrella", "v": "umbrella", "text": "\"Hear ye!\" he gasped, clinging to the well while rain fell upward inside his collar. \"The Princess Clementine has been carried off by an umbrella! A big one! With wings! I saw the wings! It opened indoors on purpose!\"", "flip": true, "react": "Bad luck has acquired handles and intent."}, {"id": "lex.noun.spoon", "v": "spoon", "text": "\"Hear ye!\" he gasped, clinging to the well and pointing at a suspicious shine in the clouds. \"The Princess Clementine has been carried off by a spoon! A big one! With wings! I saw the wings! It was commemorative, which felt pointed!\"", "flip": true, "react": "Cutlery should know its constitutional limits."}, {"id": "lex.noun.bishop", "v": "bishop", "text": "\"Hear ye!\" he gasped, clinging to the well and looking troubled by theology. \"The Princess Clementine has been carried off by a bishop! A big one! With wings! I saw the wings! I saw the eyebrows! The eyebrows were nearly as airborne!\"", "flip": true, "react": "Ecclesiastical flight was not in the village handbook."}, {"id": "lex.noun.wardrobe", "v": "haunted wardrobe", "text": "\"Hear ye!\" he gasped, clinging to the well while a coat hanger rattled in his pocket. \"The Princess Clementine has been carried off by a haunted wardrobe! A big one! With wings! I saw the wings! It creaked, sneezed, and apologized!\"", "flip": true, "react": "Furniture with manners remains furniture with warrants."}], "state": null, "classes": ["creature", "person", "object", "food"]}, "! A big one! With wings! I saw the ", {"slot": "s6", "kind": "typo", "gold": false, "orig": "wings", "opts": [{"id": "typo.swings", "v": "swings", "text": "\"Hear ye!\" he gasped, clinging to the well. \"The Princess Clementine has been carried off by a dragon! A big one! With swings! I saw the swings! They were tied under its belly, and she was going terribly high!\"", "flip": false, "react": "Ah yes, the fearsome playground variety. How dignified."}], "state": null, "classes": null}, "!\""]}, {"anchor": true, "segs": ["\"His Majesty offers ", {"slot": "s3", "kind": "num", "gold": false, "orig": "half", "opts": [{"id": "num.all of", "v": "all of", "text": "\"His Majesty offers all of the kingdom,\" the herald went on, \"and a commemorative spoon to whoever brings her home.\" He held it up with the careful fingers of a man carrying a legal problem. It had the King's face on it. The King looked worried even in spoon form, which was sensible, since he had apparently just given away the chairs, the moat, and the little room where crowns are polished.", "flip": true, "react": "A modest reward, if one is finished owning furniture."}, {"id": "num.a third of", "v": "a third of", "text": "\"His Majesty offers a third of the kingdom,\" the herald went on, \"and a commemorative spoon to whoever brings her home.\" He held it up. It had the King's face on it. The King looked worried even in spoon form, perhaps because choosing which third involved maps, arguments, and somebody losing the nice hill with the sheep.", "flip": false, "react": "Nothing inspires heroism like fractional geography."}, {"id": "num.a tiny bit of", "v": "a tiny bit of", "text": "\"His Majesty offers a tiny bit of the kingdom,\" the herald went on, \"and a commemorative spoon to whoever brings her home.\" He held it up quickly, as if the spoon were doing most of the work. It had the King's face on it. The King looked worried even in spoon form, and possibly embarrassed by the smallness of the kingdom bit, which was likely a ditch, a shrub, or one very patriotic paving stone.", "flip": false, "react": "Ah yes, destiny, payable in shrubbery."}, {"id": "num.none of", "v": "none of", "text": "\"His Majesty offers none of the kingdom,\" the herald went on, \"and a commemorative spoon to whoever brings her home.\" He held it up with the confidence of a man hoping shine could replace land. It had the King's face on it. The King looked worried even in spoon form, as well he might, because a reward of nothing, nothing, and cutlery is not how legends usually begin.", "flip": true, "react": "Heroism does love being paid in absolutely nothings."}, {"id": "num.twice", "v": "twice", "text": "\"His Majesty offers twice the kingdom,\" the herald went on, \"and a commemorative spoon to whoever brings her home.\" He held it up. It had the King's face on it. The King looked worried even in spoon form, probably because he owned only one kingdom and had just promised another one he would need to find, borrow, or draw very convincingly on parchment.", "flip": true, "react": "Excellent. The monarchy has discovered imaginary accounting."}], "state": null, "classes": null}, " the kingdom,\" the herald went on, \"and a commemorative ", {"slot": "s4", "kind": "noun", "gold": false, "orig": "spoon", "opts": [{"id": "lex.noun.pudding", "v": "pudding", "text": "\"His Majesty offers half the kingdom,\" the herald went on, \"and a commemorative pudding to whoever brings her home.\" He held it up in both hands. It wobbled left, wobbled right, then saluted by accident. It had the King's face on it in raisins. The King looked worried even in dessert form.", "flip": false, "react": "Naturally, statecraft improves when it jiggles."}, {"id": "lex.noun.mop", "v": "mop", "text": "\"His Majesty offers half the kingdom,\" the herald went on, \"and a commemorative mop to whoever brings her home.\" He held it up like a banner. It dripped once, flopped twice, and tried to clean his shoe without permission. It had the King's face stitched on the head. The King looked worried even in mop form.", "flip": false, "react": "A reward with both honor and mildew. Splendid."}, {"id": "lex.noun.teapot", "v": "teapot", "text": "\"His Majesty offers half the kingdom,\" the herald went on, \"and a commemorative teapot to whoever brings her home.\" He held it up. It had the King's face on it, and, for reasons not approved by the palace potter, small white teeth around the spout. The King looked worried even in teapot form.", "flip": false, "react": "One does prefer rewards that cannot nibble."}, {"id": "lex.noun.trombone", "v": "trombone", "text": "\"His Majesty offers half the kingdom,\" the herald went on, \"and a commemorative trombone to whoever brings her home.\" He held it up. The slide shot forward, bonked the well rope, and played one proud \"bworp.\" It had the King's face on the bell. The King looked worried even in trombone form.", "flip": false, "react": "At last, a prize that announces its own inconvenience."}, {"id": "lex.noun.sock", "v": "sock", "text": "\"His Majesty offers half the kingdom,\" the herald went on, \"and a commemorative sock to whoever brings her home.\" He held it up between finger and thumb. It was alone, as important socks often are. It had the King's face on the ankle. The King looked worried even in laundry form.", "flip": false, "react": "Behold, monarchy reduced to one damp footnote."}, {"id": "lex.noun.cabbage", "v": "cabbage", "text": "\"His Majesty offers half the kingdom,\" the herald went on, \"and a commemorative cabbage to whoever brings her home.\" He held it up solemnly. Its leaves were crisp, green, and far too dignified for a vegetable at a kidnapping announcement. It had the King's face carved into the outer leaf. The King looked worried even in cabbage form.", "flip": false, "react": "A leafy incentive. History trembles."}, {"id": "lex.noun.crumpet", "v": "crumpet", "text": "\"His Majesty offers half the kingdom,\" the herald went on, \"and a commemorative crumpet to whoever brings her home.\" He held it up on a little plate. Butter shone in the holes like tiny golden ponds. It had the King's face toasted on it. The King looked worried even in breakfast form.", "flip": false, "react": "Nothing rallies heroes like edible portraiture."}, {"id": "lex.noun.wheelbarrow", "v": "wheelbarrow", "text": "\"His Majesty offers half the kingdom,\" the herald went on, \"and a commemorative wheelbarrow to whoever brings her home.\" He held the handles and immediately regretted holding the handles. The wheel squeaked, the tray rattled, and a pigeon judged it. It had the King's face painted on the side. The King looked worried even in wheelbarrow form.", "flip": false, "react": "Practical, yes. Regal, only while stationary."}, {"id": "lex.noun.accordion", "v": "accordion", "text": "\"His Majesty offers half the kingdom,\" the herald went on, \"and a commemorative accordion to whoever brings her home.\" He held it up. It wheezed in, wheezed out, and sighed like a tired duchess. It had the King's face on the bellows, stretching and squashing with every breath. The King looked worried even in accordion form.", "flip": false, "react": "The reward now pants more nobly than the herald."}, {"id": "lex.noun.snail", "v": "snail", "text": "\"His Majesty offers half the kingdom,\" the herald went on, \"and a commemorative snail to whoever brings her home.\" He held it up very carefully. The snail wore a tiny crown, ignored the crisis, and began crossing his glove with royal patience. It had the King's face painted on its shell. The King looked worried even in snail form.", "flip": false, "react": "Urgency has clearly been consulted and dismissed."}, {"id": "lex.noun.umbrella", "v": "umbrella", "text": "\"His Majesty offers half the kingdom,\" the herald went on, \"and a commemorative umbrella to whoever brings her home.\" He held it up indoors, which was brave and unwise. It opened with a pop, rained three drops, and made everyone look at the ceiling. It had the King's face on the canopy. The King looked worried even in umbrella form.", "flip": false, "react": "Indoor weather. The crown spares no expense."}, {"id": "lex.noun.spoon", "v": "spoon", "text": "\"His Majesty offers half the kingdom,\" the herald went on, \"and a commemorative spoon to whoever brings her home.\" He held it up. It had the King's face on it. The King looked worried even in spoon form.", "flip": false, "react": "For once, history remains properly utensiled."}, {"id": "lex.noun.wardrobe", "v": "haunted wardrobe", "text": "\"His Majesty offers half the kingdom,\" the herald went on, \"and a commemorative haunted wardrobe to whoever brings her home.\" He gestured to it, since holding it up would have required six heralds and a better floor. Its doors creaked, sighed, and politely hiccuped a moth. It had the King's face on the mirror. The King looked worried even in furniture form.", "flip": false, "react": "A noble prize, provided it stops whispering measurements."}], "state": null, "classes": ["object", "food", "creature"]}, " to whoever brings her home.\" He held it up. It had the King's face on it. The King looked worried even in spoon form."]}, {"anchor": false, "segs": ["Pip dropped his {pip_tool}. {sidekick} did not drop anything. He narrowed his eyes at the far mountains, the way a goose does when it has decided something is now its business."]}], "opener": "Page two. The part with the trumpet. I've been looking forward to the trumpet.", "aside": "A kidnapped princess, a cathedral-sized dragon, and a reward that comes with cutlery. Pip has never held anything sharper than a pitchfork. I'd like that noted for later.", "prize": ["char", "Gary, the Night Janitor"]}, {"id": "c1p3", "title": "Nobody Volunteers", "scene": "s3_crowd", "chars": ["roderick"], "tutorial": false, "skippable": false, "mood": "silly", "paras": [{"anchor": false, "segs": ["The village square went so quiet you could hear a ", {"slot": "s1", "kind": "noun", "gold": false, "orig": "turnip", "opts": [{"id": "lex.noun.pudding", "v": "pudding", "text": "The village square went so quiet you could hear a pudding wobble. It made three solemn jiggles, then sat down on its own sauce. Several people looked at their shoes. One man pretended to be a hedge, and honestly, he was quite good at it.", "flip": false, "react": "Naturally, dessert chose this moment to develop gravitas."}, {"id": "lex.noun.mop", "v": "mop", "text": "The village square went so quiet you could hear a mop flop. Its wet strings slapped the stones with tragic little pats. Several people looked at their shoes, then at the puddle near them. One man pretended to be a hedge, and honestly, he was quite good at it.", "flip": false, "react": "A mop has no business being the loudest citizen."}, {"id": "lex.noun.teapot", "v": "teapot", "text": "The village square went so quiet you could hear a teapot roll. It clicked across the cobbles on tiny porcelain teeth, smiling far too politely. Several people looked at their shoes. One man pretended to be a hedge, and honestly, he was quite good at it.", "flip": false, "react": "Porcelain dentistry was not in the civic minutes."}, {"id": "lex.noun.trombone", "v": "trombone", "text": "The village square went so quiet you could hear a trombone roll. Unfortunately, it rolled over one cobble, three daisies, and its own slide, producing a noise like a goose learning law. Several people looked at their shoes. One man pretended to be a hedge, and honestly, he was quite good at it.", "flip": false, "react": "So much for dignified silence."}, {"id": "lex.noun.sock", "v": "sock", "text": "The village square went so quiet you could hear a sock roll. It was a lonely sock, gray at the heel, making a soft little fluff at every turn. Several people looked at their shoes with sudden guilt. One man pretended to be a hedge, and honestly, he was quite good at it.", "flip": false, "react": "Even the laundry had abandonment issues."}, {"id": "lex.noun.cabbage", "v": "cabbage", "text": "The village square went so quiet you could hear a cabbage roll. It proceeded with leafy dignity, as if late to a council meeting about soup. Several people looked at their shoes. One man pretended to be a hedge, and honestly, he was quite good at it.", "flip": false, "react": "I concede the cabbage carried itself well."}, {"id": "lex.noun.crumpet", "v": "crumpet", "text": "The village square went so quiet you could hear a crumpet roll. Butter glistened in its little dimples, which made the whole affair feel undercatered. Several people looked at their shoes. One man pretended to be a hedge, and honestly, he was quite good at it.", "flip": false, "react": "Bravery often fails when breakfast smells warm."}, {"id": "lex.noun.wheelbarrow", "v": "wheelbarrow", "text": "The village square went so quiet you could hear a wheelbarrow roll. Its single wheel squeaked once, twice, then a third time with unnecessary drama. Several people looked at their shoes. One man pretended to be a hedge, and honestly, he was quite good at it.", "flip": false, "react": "The wheelbarrow understood suspense better than the villagers."}, {"id": "lex.noun.accordion", "v": "accordion", "text": "The village square went so quiet you could hear an accordion roll. Each bump squeezed out a wheezy note, three sad honks and one surprised gasp. Several people looked at their shoes. One man pretended to be a hedge, and honestly, he was quite good at it.", "flip": false, "react": "Silence, apparently, now comes with bellows."}, {"id": "lex.noun.snail", "v": "snail", "text": "The village square went so quiet you could hear a snail roll. It wore a tiny crown of grass and advanced at royal speed, which is to say not much. Several people looked at their shoes. One man pretended to be a hedge, and honestly, he was quite good at it.", "flip": false, "react": "All rise, eventually, for His Slowness."}, {"id": "lex.noun.umbrella", "v": "umbrella", "text": "The village square went so quiet you could hear an umbrella roll. It popped open halfway and shed three indoor raindrops, though the sky was being perfectly innocent. Several people looked at their shoes, now slightly damp. One man pretended to be a hedge, and honestly, he was quite good at it.", "flip": false, "react": "Weather indoors is how committees begin."}, {"id": "lex.noun.spoon", "v": "spoon", "text": "The village square went so quiet you could hear a spoon roll. It was commemorative, with the mayor's chin engraved on the handle and jam in the bowl. Several people looked at their shoes. One man pretended to be a hedge, and honestly, he was quite good at it.", "flip": false, "react": "Nothing says crisis like souvenir cutlery."}, {"id": "lex.noun.wardrobe", "v": "haunted wardrobe", "text": "The village square went so quiet you could hear a haunted wardrobe roll. It bumped along on four carved feet, politely whispering, \"Boo,\" to a pigeon. Several people looked at their shoes. One man pretended to be a hedge, and honestly, he was quite good at it.", "flip": false, "react": "A considerate haunting is still a haunting."}], "state": null, "classes": ["food", "object", "creature"]}, " roll. Several people looked at their shoes. One man pretended to be a hedge, and honestly, he was quite good at it."]}, {"anchor": false, "segs": ["\"Surely,\" said the herald, \"one of our ", {"slot": "s2", "kind": "adj", "gold": false, "orig": "brave", "opts": [{"id": "lex.adj.damp", "v": "damp", "text": "\"Surely,\" said the herald, wringing a corner of his sash, \"one of our damp knights?\" Sir Roderick the Bold made a small puddle inside his boot and stepped back so fast he knocked over a cart. \"Dentist,\" he said. \"Terribly sorry. Big appointment. Possibly all week. Moisture bad for appointments.\"", "flip": false, "react": "Ah yes, chivalry, but clammy."}, {"id": "lex.adj.tiny", "v": "tiny", "text": "\"Surely,\" said the herald, peering down at the cobbles, \"one of our tiny knights?\" Sir Roderick the Bold, who was not tiny but hoped posture might help, crouched backward so fast he knocked over a cart. \"Dentist,\" he said from knee height. \"Terribly sorry. Big appointment. Possibly all week.\"", "flip": false, "react": "A smaller excuse would have sufficed."}, {"id": "lex.adj.enormous", "v": "enormous", "text": "\"Surely,\" said the herald, shading his eyes, \"one of our enormous knights?\" Sir Roderick the Bold tried to look less enormous, which mostly made him wider. He stepped back so fast he knocked over a cart, two barrels, and a very judgmental cabbage. \"Dentist,\" he said. \"Terribly sorry. Big appointment. Possibly all week.\"", "flip": false, "react": "Subtle as a barn in armor."}, {"id": "lex.adj.sparkly", "v": "sparkly", "text": "\"Surely,\" said the herald, blinking through the glitter, \"one of our sparkly knights?\" Sir Roderick the Bold flashed in the sunlight, panicked, and stepped back so fast he knocked over a cart. Sequins pattered like nervous rain. \"Dentist,\" he said. \"Terribly sorry. Big appointment. Possibly all week. Very sensitive shine.\"", "flip": false, "react": "Heroism, now with eye strain."}, {"id": "lex.adj.haunted", "v": "haunted", "text": "\"Surely,\" said the herald, lowering his voice, \"one of our haunted knights?\" Sir Roderick the Bold looked over his shoulder, then at his other shoulder, then at a shoulder that was not there. He stepped back so fast he knocked over a cart. \"Dentist,\" he said. \"Terribly sorry. Big appointment. Possibly all week.\"", "flip": false, "react": "Naturally, the ghosts declined too."}, {"id": "lex.adj.sleepy", "v": "sleepy", "text": "\"Surely,\" said the herald, not loudly enough to wake anyone useful, \"one of our sleepy knights?\" Sir Roderick the Bold snorted, saluted a lamppost, and stepped back so fast he knocked over a cart. \"Dentist,\" he said, through a yawn the size of a drawbridge. \"Terribly sorry. Big appointment. Possibly all week.\"", "flip": false, "react": "Courage hit the snooze button."}, {"id": "lex.adj.suspicious", "v": "suspicious", "text": "\"Surely,\" said the herald, \"one of our suspicious knights?\" Sir Roderick the Bold narrowed his eyes at the quest, the herald, and an innocent pigeon. Then he stepped back so fast he knocked over a cart, which he had clearly suspected all along. \"Dentist,\" he said. \"Terribly sorry. Big appointment. Possibly all week.\"", "flip": false, "react": "Even the excuse wore a false mustache."}, {"id": "lex.adj.fluffy", "v": "fluffy", "text": "\"Surely,\" said the herald, brushing lint from his scroll, \"one of our fluffy knights?\" Sir Roderick the Bold puffed in the breeze like an armored dandelion and stepped back so fast he knocked over a cart. A feather drifted down. \"Dentist,\" he said. \"Terribly sorry. Big appointment. Possibly all week.\"", "flip": false, "react": "Softness has defeated duty again."}, {"id": "lex.adj.legally", "v": "legally distinct", "text": "\"Surely,\" said the herald, squinting at the fine print, \"one of our legally distinct knights?\" Sir Roderick the Bold adjusted his almost-helmet and stepped back so fast he knocked over a cart. \"Dentist,\" he said. \"Terribly sorry. Big appointment. Possibly all week. My solicitor insists I am merely knight-like.\"", "flip": false, "react": "Behold, liability in polished tin."}, {"id": "lex.adj.sticky", "v": "sticky", "text": "\"Surely,\" said the herald, tugging his scroll free from his glove, \"one of our sticky knights?\" Sir Roderick the Bold stepped back so fast he knocked over a cart, though one boot remained politely glued to the cobbles. \"Dentist,\" he said. \"Terribly sorry. Big appointment. Possibly all week. Taffy incident.\"", "flip": false, "react": "A quest, tragically adhered to no one."}, {"id": "lex.adj.majestic", "v": "majestic", "text": "\"Surely,\" said the herald, making his voice very tall, \"one of our majestic knights?\" Sir Roderick the Bold tossed his cape, struck a pose, and then stepped back so fast he knocked over a cart. Majesty rattled everywhere. \"Dentist,\" he said. \"Terribly sorry. Big appointment. Possibly all week.\"", "flip": false, "react": "Regal retreat remains retreat."}, {"id": "lex.adj.upsidedown", "v": "upside down", "text": "\"Surely,\" said the herald, addressing several dangling boots, \"one of our upside down knights?\" Sir Roderick the Bold waved from beneath his helmet plume and stepped back, which was forward, so fast he knocked over a cart with his shoulders. \"Dentist,\" he said. \"Terribly sorry. Big appointment. Possibly all week.\"", "flip": false, "react": "Gravity has filed a complaint."}], "state": null, "classes": null}, " knights?\" ", {"slot": "s3", "kind": "char", "gold": false, "orig": "Sir Roderick the Bold", "opts": [{"id": "lex.char.thistle", "v": "Grandma Thistle", "text": "\"Surely,\" said the herald, \"one of our brave knights?\" Grandma Thistle clicked her knitting needles and marched forward one whole inch. Then she frowned at the herald's slouch. \"Posture,\" she said. \"Terribly important. Shoulders back. Chin up. Now ask properly.\"", "flip": true, "react": "Naturally, the smallest person improved the room by terrifying it."}, {"id": "lex.char.ducks", "v": "A Committee of Ducks", "text": "\"Surely,\" said the herald, \"one of our brave knights?\" A Committee of Ducks waddled into a circle and held a vote. Two voted yes. Two voted no. One ate the ballot. \"Quack,\" they said, which settled nothing and sounded official.", "flip": false, "react": "Democracy is difficult when everyone has a beak and an agenda."}, {"id": "lex.char.bear", "v": "A Very Polite Bear", "text": "\"Surely,\" said the herald, \"one of our brave knights?\" A Very Polite Bear stepped back so carefully he only nudged the cart, then apologized to it. \"Dentist,\" he said. \"Terribly sorry. Big appointment. Possibly all week. Lovely cart, by the way.\"", "flip": false, "react": "Even cowardice wears a waistcoat, if properly invited."}, {"id": "lex.char.crumbsworth", "v": "Sir Crumbsworth", "text": "\"Surely,\" said the herald, \"one of our brave knights?\" Sir Crumbsworth rattled forward in his icing armor. A raisin eye gleamed. A sugar plume wobbled. \"At once,\" he said, brave beyond reason, though slightly stale on the left side.", "flip": true, "react": "At last, courage. Crunchy, yes, but courage."}, {"id": "lex.char.gary", "v": "Gary, the Night Janitor", "text": "\"Surely,\" said the herald, \"one of our brave knights?\" Gary, the Night Janitor leaned on his broom, huge and gentle and entirely unannounced. He looked left, right, and under a dropped cabbage. \"I just clean up,\" he said. \"But I can start with the cart.\"", "flip": false, "react": "Gary has wandered in again, broom first and explanation last."}], "state": null, "classes": null}, " ", {"slot": "v1", "kind": "verb", "gold": false, "orig": "stepped", "form": "past", "who": "roderick", "opts": [{"id": "lex.verb.skip", "v": "skipped", "flip": false, "react": "Skipping. Merrily, I suppose. Everything is merry now. Wonderful."}, {"id": "lex.verb.strut", "v": "strutted", "flip": false, "react": "Strutted. Somebody's very pleased with themselves. It's you, isn't it."}, {"id": "lex.verb.snore", "v": "snored", "flip": false, "react": "Snored. Mid sentence. I'm told that is my effect on audiences."}, {"id": "lex.verb.sneeze", "v": "sneezed", "flip": false, "react": "Sneezed. Bless you. Bless the whole sentence. It needs it."}, {"id": "lex.verb.tiptoe", "v": "tiptoed", "flip": false, "react": "Tiptoed. Then I shall read this bit very quietly, so as not to spoil it."}, {"id": "lex.verb.tango", "v": "tangoed", "flip": false, "react": "A tango. One does not tango alone. And yet here we are."}, {"id": "lex.verb.dither", "v": "dithered", "flip": false, "react": "Dithered. At the most important moment. A bold choice. Or not. Hard to say."}, {"id": "lex.verb.tapdance", "v": "tap danced", "flip": false, "react": "Tap danced. I can hear the clicking. I'll be hearing it for weeks."}, {"id": "lex.verb.filetaxes", "v": "filed taxes", "flip": false, "react": "Filing taxes. You've turned my adventure into an afternoon at the counting house."}, {"id": "lex.verb.gallop", "v": "galloped", "flip": false, "react": "Galloped. With no horse. I want that noted."}, {"id": "lex.verb.somersault", "v": "somersaulted", "flip": false, "react": "A somersault. At that age. Somebody fetch a cushion."}, {"id": "lex.verb.hiccup", "v": "hiccupped", "flip": false, "react": "Hiccupped. Hold your breath and count to ten. Not you. The story."}, {"id": "lex.verb.waddle", "v": "waddled", "flip": false, "react": "Waddled. You've made it waddle. With dignity, I hope. No? No dignity at all."}, {"id": "lex.verb.slurp", "v": "slurped", "flip": false, "react": "Slurped. Audibly. I can hear it from here."}], "state": null, "classes": null}, " back so fast he knocked over a cart. \"Dentist,\" he said. \"Terribly sorry. Big appointment. Possibly all week.\""]}, {"anchor": true, "segs": ["It was at this moment that {sidekick}, who had been standing behind Pip, lowered his head and shoved. Pip stumbled ", {"slot": "s4", "kind": "num", "gold": false, "orig": "three", "opts": [{"id": "num.zero", "v": "zero", "text": "It was at this moment that {sidekick}, who had been standing behind Pip, lowered his head and shoved. Pip stumbled zero steps, which is to say he remained exactly where he was until the shove scooted him neatly into the middle of the square, holding a {pip_tool}. From a distance, this looked a lot like volunteering with excellent balance.", "flip": false, "react": "Ah, yes. Heroism without locomotion. Very modern."}, {"id": "num.one", "v": "one", "text": "It was at this moment that {sidekick}, who had been standing behind Pip, lowered his head and shoved. Pip stumbled one step into the middle of the square, holding a {pip_tool}, with the small, doomed hop of a man discovering public duty. From a distance, it looked a lot like volunteering.", "flip": false, "react": "One step. Apparently destiny was on a tight schedule."}, {"id": "num.two", "v": "two", "text": "It was at this moment that {sidekick}, who had been standing behind Pip, lowered his head and shoved. Pip stumbled two steps into the middle of the square, holding a {pip_tool}. The first step looked accidental. The second looked official. From a distance, together, they looked a lot like volunteering.", "flip": false, "react": "Two steps: one for panic, one for paperwork."}, {"id": "num.seven", "v": "seven", "text": "It was at this moment that {sidekick}, who had been standing behind Pip, lowered his head and shoved. Pip stumbled seven steps into the middle of the square, holding a {pip_tool}. By step three he looked surprised, by step five he looked doomed, and by step seven he looked, from a distance, a lot like volunteering.", "flip": false, "react": "Seven steps is not a stumble. It is a reluctant parade."}, {"id": "num.twelve", "v": "twelve", "text": "It was at this moment that {sidekick}, who had been standing behind Pip, lowered his head and shoved. Pip stumbled twelve steps into the middle of the square, holding a {pip_tool}. He passed a puddle, a chicken, and his last reasonable chance to object. From a distance, it looked a lot like volunteering.", "flip": false, "react": "Twelve steps gives a person time to reconsider. He did not."}, {"id": "num.a hundred", "v": "a hundred", "text": "It was at this moment that {sidekick}, who had been standing behind Pip, lowered his head and shoved. Pip stumbled a hundred steps into the middle of the square, holding a {pip_tool}. He circled a barrel, clipped a cabbage crate, and arrived breathless at destiny. From a distance, it looked a lot like volunteering.", "flip": false, "react": "A hundred steps. The square has become suspiciously roomy."}, {"id": "num.three hundred", "v": "three hundred", "text": "It was at this moment that {sidekick}, who had been standing behind Pip, lowered his head and shoved. Pip stumbled three hundred steps into the middle of the square, holding a {pip_tool}. The crowd had time to count, doubt the counting, and start again. From a distance, it still looked a lot like volunteering.", "flip": false, "react": "Three hundred steps, and not one of them dignified."}, {"id": "num.a thousand", "v": "a thousand", "text": "It was at this moment that {sidekick}, who had been standing behind Pip, lowered his head and shoved. Pip stumbled a thousand steps into the middle of the square, holding a {pip_tool}. He wore a small path in the dust and frightened a turnip twice. From a distance, somehow, it looked a lot like volunteering.", "flip": false, "react": "A thousand steps is cardio, not courage."}, {"id": "num.a million", "v": "a million", "text": "It was at this moment that {sidekick}, who had been standing behind Pip, lowered his head and shoved. Pip stumbled a million steps into the middle of the square, holding a {pip_tool}. Seasons considered changing. A bun went stale. The hedge man grew jealous. From a distance, at last, it looked a lot like volunteering.", "flip": false, "react": "A million steps. I hope someone packed a bookmark."}], "state": null, "classes": null}, " steps into the middle of the square, holding a {pip_tool}, which from a distance looked a lot like volunteering."]}, {"anchor": true, "segs": ["The crowd cheered with ", {"slot": "s5", "kind": "erase", "gold": false, "orig": "enormous", "opts": [{"id": "erase", "v": "", "text": "The crowd cheered with relief, a much smaller sound than the square had expected. Someone threw a flower. Someone else threw a bun, which Pip caught and later ate. It was not enormous, but it counted. And just like that, Pip Bramblewick was the hero.", "flip": false, "react": "Apparently even adjectives may flee civic responsibility."}], "state": null, "classes": null}, " relief. Someone threw a flower. Someone else threw a ", {"slot": "s6", "kind": "noun", "gold": false, "orig": "bun", "opts": [{"id": "lex.noun.pudding", "v": "pudding", "text": "The crowd cheered with enormous relief. Someone threw a flower. Someone else threw a pudding, which Pip caught, wobbled with, and later ate with a heroic spoon. And just like that, Pip Bramblewick was the hero.", "flip": false, "react": "Naturally, destiny arrived in custard form."}, {"id": "lex.noun.mop", "v": "mop", "text": "The crowd cheered with enormous relief. Someone threw a flower. Someone else threw a mop, which Pip caught, dripped from, and did not later eat. He looked freshly assigned. And just like that, Pip Bramblewick was the hero.", "flip": false, "react": "Ah yes, the traditional mop of office."}, {"id": "lex.noun.teapot", "v": "teapot", "text": "The crowd cheered with enormous relief. Someone threw a flower. Someone else threw a teapot, which Pip caught by the handle while its tiny porcelain teeth chattered. It poured one nervous drop. And just like that, Pip Bramblewick was the hero.", "flip": false, "react": "Even the crockery has opinions now."}, {"id": "lex.noun.trombone", "v": "trombone", "text": "The crowd cheered with enormous relief. Someone threw a flower. Someone else threw a trombone, which Pip caught and accidentally honked into his own hat. Three pigeons saluted. One fainted theatrically. And just like that, Pip Bramblewick was the hero.", "flip": false, "react": "Subtlety has left the square, loudly."}, {"id": "lex.noun.sock", "v": "sock", "text": "The crowd cheered with enormous relief. Someone threw a flower. Someone else threw a sock, a lonely gray one, which Pip caught and politely did not sniff. He tucked it in his pocket. And just like that, Pip Bramblewick was the hero.", "flip": false, "react": "A single sock. Truly, the village emptied its treasury."}, {"id": "lex.noun.cabbage", "v": "cabbage", "text": "The crowd cheered with enormous relief. Someone threw a flower. Someone else threw a cabbage, which Pip caught with both arms as if receiving a crown. It sat there, dignified and leafy. And just like that, Pip Bramblewick was the hero.", "flip": false, "react": "At last, a vegetable with gravitas."}, {"id": "lex.noun.crumpet", "v": "crumpet", "text": "The crowd cheered with enormous relief. Someone threw a flower. Someone else threw a crumpet, which Pip caught warm, buttery, and full of small heroic holes. He later ate it for courage. And just like that, Pip Bramblewick was the hero.", "flip": false, "react": "Bravery, toasted and lightly buttered."}, {"id": "lex.noun.wheelbarrow", "v": "wheelbarrow", "text": "The crowd cheered with enormous relief. Someone threw a flower. Someone else threw a wheelbarrow, which was ambitious and poorly aimed. Pip caught the handles as it squeaked to a stop around him. And just like that, Pip Bramblewick was the hero.", "flip": false, "react": "One does not throw a wheelbarrow. One commits to it."}, {"id": "lex.noun.accordion", "v": "accordion", "text": "The crowd cheered with enormous relief. Someone threw a flower. Someone else threw an accordion, which Pip caught and squeezed by mistake. It wheezed out a tune of panic, duty, and soup. And just like that, Pip Bramblewick was the hero.", "flip": false, "react": "Heroism now comes with bellows, apparently."}, {"id": "lex.noun.umbrella", "v": "umbrella", "text": "The crowd cheered with enormous relief. Someone threw a flower. Someone else threw an umbrella, which Pip caught just as it sprang open indoors. A private little rain fell under it. Pip blinked bravely. And just like that, Pip Bramblewick was the hero.", "flip": false, "react": "Indoor weather. The paperwork will be unbearable."}, {"id": "lex.noun.spoon", "v": "spoon", "text": "The crowd cheered with enormous relief. Someone threw a flower. Someone else threw a spoon, which Pip caught neatly. It had \"For Unplanned Heroism\" scratched along the handle. He bowed to it. And just like that, Pip Bramblewick was the hero.", "flip": false, "react": "Commemorative cutlery. The highest civic honor, regrettably."}, {"id": "lex.noun.wardrobe", "v": "haunted wardrobe", "text": "The crowd cheered with enormous relief. Someone threw a flower. Someone else threw a haunted wardrobe, which floated more than flew and landed beside Pip with a polite creak. Something inside applauded. And just like that, Pip Bramblewick was the hero.", "flip": false, "react": "Splendid. Even the furniture is volunteering him."}], "state": null, "classes": ["food", "object"]}, ", which Pip caught and later ate. And just like that, Pip Bramblewick was the hero."]}], "opener": "Page three. This is where a brave volunteer steps forward. In theory.", "aside": "Our hero has been chosen by a democratic process of one goose. Sir Roderick, meanwhile, is fleeing to an appointment with a dentist who does not exist. Remember his face. He'll be back, and he'll still be useless.", "prize": ["adj", "relieved"]}, {"id": "c1p4", "title": "Professor Fumblethorn", "scene": "s4_tower", "chars": ["fumblethorn"], "tutorial": false, "skippable": false, "mood": "whimsy", "paras": [{"anchor": false, "segs": ["Professor Agatha Fumblethorn lived in a crooked tower at the edge of the village. She was nearly a hundred years old and had been a wizard for ", {"slot": "s1", "kind": "num", "gold": false, "orig": "seventy", "opts": [{"id": "num.zero", "v": "zero", "text": "Professor Agatha Fumblethorn lived in a crooked tower at the edge of the village. She was nearly a hundred years old and had been a wizard for zero of them, which she said was \"the good part,\" because expectations had nowhere to fall.", "flip": true, "react": "Ah. A wizard with no wizarding. Very efficient nonsense."}, {"id": "num.one", "v": "one", "text": "Professor Agatha Fumblethorn lived in a crooked tower at the edge of the village. She was nearly a hundred years old and had been a wizard for one of them, which she said was \"the good part.\" The tower still looked doubtful.", "flip": false, "react": "One year, and already a professor. Academia has slipped."}, {"id": "num.two", "v": "two", "text": "Professor Agatha Fumblethorn lived in a crooked tower at the edge of the village. She was nearly a hundred years old and had been a wizard for two of them, which she said was \"the good part.\" The first year was sparks. The second was apologies.", "flip": false, "react": "Two years of wizardry. Barely enough time to mislabel a wand."}, {"id": "num.three", "v": "three", "text": "Professor Agatha Fumblethorn lived in a crooked tower at the edge of the village. She was nearly a hundred years old and had been a wizard for three of them, which she said was \"the good part.\" Before that, she had been trying hats, goats, and accountancy.", "flip": false, "react": "Three years. Naturally she chose the pointiest profession last."}, {"id": "num.seven", "v": "seven", "text": "Professor Agatha Fumblethorn lived in a crooked tower at the edge of the village. She was nearly a hundred years old and had been a wizard for seven of them, which she said was \"the good part.\" Seven was plenty, if one counted loudly.", "flip": false, "react": "Seven years of training, and the numbers are already bragging."}, {"id": "num.twelve", "v": "twelve", "text": "Professor Agatha Fumblethorn lived in a crooked tower at the edge of the village. She was nearly a hundred years old and had been a wizard for twelve of them, which she said was \"the good part.\" The other years were apparently research, naps, and tea accidents.", "flip": false, "react": "Twelve years. Practically ancient, if one is a cheese."}, {"id": "num.a hundred", "v": "a hundred", "text": "Professor Agatha Fumblethorn lived in a crooked tower at the edge of the village. She was nearly a hundred years old and had been a wizard for a hundred of them, which she said was \"the good part.\" Mathematics coughed politely and looked away.", "flip": false, "react": "Nearly a hundred, yet wizarding for a hundred. Arithmetic has resigned."}, {"id": "num.three hundred", "v": "three hundred", "text": "Professor Agatha Fumblethorn lived in a crooked tower at the edge of the village. She was nearly a hundred years old and had been a wizard for three hundred of them, which she said was \"the good part.\" The extra centuries were folded in her hat.", "flip": true, "react": "Three hundred years, stored in millinery. Obviously."}, {"id": "num.a thousand", "v": "a thousand", "text": "Professor Agatha Fumblethorn lived in a crooked tower at the edge of the village. She was nearly a hundred years old and had been a wizard for a thousand of them, which she said was \"the good part.\" Time had lost the argument and gone home for biscuits.", "flip": true, "react": "A thousand years. Timekeeping is now decorative."}, {"id": "num.a million", "v": "a million", "text": "Professor Agatha Fumblethorn lived in a crooked tower at the edge of the village. She was nearly a hundred years old and had been a wizard for a million of them, which she said was \"the good part.\" The village calendar simply fainted.", "flip": true, "react": "A million years of wizardry. The paperwork alone offends me."}], "state": null, "classes": null}, " of them, which she said was \"the good part.\""]}, {"anchor": true, "segs": ["\"A sword,\" she announced, rolling up her sleeves. \"An ", {"slot": "s2", "kind": "adj", "gold": false, "orig": "enchanted", "opts": [{"id": "lex.adj.damp", "v": "damp", "text": "\"A sword,\" she announced, rolling up her sleeves. \"A damp sword, for the hero.\" She waved her wand. There was a bang, a smell of toast left in the rain, and a sword slapped onto the table. It was made of wood, and it immediately left a heroic puddle.", "flip": false, "react": "Naturally, destiny arrived slightly soggy."}, {"id": "lex.adj.tiny", "v": "tiny", "text": "\"A sword,\" she announced, rolling up her sleeves. \"A tiny sword, for the hero.\" She waved her wand. There was a bang, a smell of toast, and a sword clattered onto the table with the noise of one dropped teaspoon. It was made of wood. Pip could duel a mouse with it, if the mouse agreed.", "flip": false, "react": "At last, a weapon for very specific bravery."}, {"id": "lex.adj.enormous", "v": "enormous", "text": "\"A sword,\" she announced, rolling up her sleeves. \"An enormous sword, for the hero.\" She waved her wand. There was a bang, a smell of toast, and a sword clattered onto the table, the floor, and nearly the teapot. It was made of wood, which was fortunate for the table and insulting to forests.", "flip": false, "react": "Subtlety has fled the tower."}, {"id": "lex.adj.sparkly", "v": "sparkly", "text": "\"A sword,\" she announced, rolling up her sleeves. \"A sparkly sword, for the hero.\" She waved her wand. There was a bang, a smell of toast, and a sword clattered onto the table in a shower of glitter. It was made of wood. It shone bravely, cheaply, and all over Pip's elbows.", "flip": false, "react": "Yes, blind the dragon with craft supplies."}, {"id": "lex.adj.haunted", "v": "haunted", "text": "\"A sword,\" she announced, rolling up her sleeves. \"A haunted sword, for the hero.\" She waved her wand. There was a bang, a smell of toast, and a sword clattered onto the table. It was made of wood. It also whispered, \"I used to be a spoon,\" which did not improve morale.", "flip": false, "react": "Splendid. Even the cutlery has regrets."}, {"id": "lex.adj.sleepy", "v": "sleepy", "text": "\"A sword,\" she announced, rolling up her sleeves. \"A sleepy sword, for the hero.\" She waved her wand. There was a bang, a smell of toast, and a sword clattered onto the table, yawned, and rolled onto its side. It was made of wood. It looked ready to defend a pillow.", "flip": false, "react": "The armory is having a little lie-down."}, {"id": "lex.adj.suspicious", "v": "suspicious", "text": "\"A sword,\" she announced, rolling up her sleeves. \"A suspicious sword, for the hero.\" She waved her wand. There was a bang, a smell of toast, and a sword clattered onto the table. It was made of wood. It pointed at Pip, then at the Professor, then at the toast smell.", "flip": false, "react": "Wonderful. The weapon wants an alibi."}, {"id": "lex.adj.fluffy", "v": "fluffy", "text": "\"A sword,\" she announced, rolling up her sleeves. \"A fluffy sword, for the hero.\" She waved her wand. There was a bang, a smell of toast, and a sword clattered softly onto the table. It was made of wood under a coat of fuzz. It was brave, cuddly, and terrible at edges.", "flip": false, "react": "Nothing says peril like upholstery."}, {"id": "lex.adj.legally", "v": "legally distinct", "text": "\"A sword,\" she announced, rolling up her sleeves. \"A legally distinct sword, for the hero.\" She waved her wand. There was a bang, a smell of toast, and a long pointy object clattered onto the table. It was made of wood. The Professor coughed and called it a \"blade-adjacent solution.\"", "flip": false, "react": "Ah, heroism with paperwork around the edges."}, {"id": "lex.adj.sticky", "v": "sticky", "text": "\"A sword,\" she announced, rolling up her sleeves. \"A sticky sword, for the hero.\" She waved her wand. There was a bang, a smell of toast, and a sword clattered onto the table, then refused to leave it. It was made of wood. Pip tugged once, twice, and with great dignity lost a sleeve button.", "flip": false, "react": "At least the weapon shows commitment."}, {"id": "lex.adj.majestic", "v": "majestic", "text": "\"A sword,\" she announced, rolling up her sleeves. \"A majestic sword, for the hero.\" She waved her wand. There was a bang, a smell of toast, and a sword clattered onto the table as if expecting trumpets. It was made of wood. Still, it lay there grandly, nobly, and with one splinter.", "flip": false, "react": "Majesty, apparently, accepts plywood."}, {"id": "lex.adj.upsidedown", "v": "upside down", "text": "\"A sword,\" she announced, rolling up her sleeves. \"An upside down sword, for the hero.\" She waved her wand. There was a bang, a smell of toast, and a sword clattered onto the table with its handle in the air and its point politely confused. It was made of wood, and gravity looked embarrassed.", "flip": false, "react": "Even the sword has lost the plot direction."}], "state": null, "classes": null}, " sword, for the hero.\" She ", {"slot": "v1", "kind": "verb", "gold": false, "orig": "waved", "form": "past", "who": "fumblethorn", "opts": [{"id": "lex.verb.snore", "v": "snored", "flip": false, "react": "Snored. Mid sentence. I'm told that is my effect on audiences."}, {"id": "lex.verb.hulahoop", "v": "hula hooped", "flip": false, "react": "Hula hooping. There were no hoops in the original. I counted."}, {"id": "lex.verb.pirouette", "v": "pirouetted", "flip": false, "react": "A pirouette. Lovely form. Dreadful timing."}, {"id": "lex.verb.sulk", "v": "sulked", "flip": false, "react": "Sulked. I know the feeling. I'm doing it now."}, {"id": "lex.verb.gossip", "v": "gossiped", "flip": false, "react": "Gossiping. Don't look at me. I only report what happened."}, {"id": "lex.verb.waltz", "v": "waltzed", "flip": false, "react": "Waltzed. One two three, one two three, oh, it's ruined, one two three."}, {"id": "lex.verb.grovel", "v": "grovelled", "flip": false, "react": "Grovelling. Finally, somebody in this book shows proper respect."}, {"id": "lex.verb.yodel", "v": "yodelled", "flip": false, "react": "Yodelling. Of course. The mountains will be furious."}, {"id": "lex.verb.waddle", "v": "waddled", "flip": false, "react": "Waddled. You've made it waddle. With dignity, I hope. No? No dignity at all."}, {"id": "lex.verb.tapdance", "v": "tap danced", "flip": false, "react": "Tap danced. I can hear the clicking. I'll be hearing it for weeks."}, {"id": "lex.verb.gargle", "v": "gargled", "flip": false, "react": "Gargling. That is the exact noise I make when I read your edits."}, {"id": "lex.verb.quack", "v": "quacked", "flip": false, "react": "Quacked. Please don't tell the goose."}, {"id": "lex.verb.filetaxes", "v": "filed taxes", "flip": false, "react": "Filing taxes. You've turned my adventure into an afternoon at the counting house."}, {"id": "lex.verb.curtsy", "v": "curtsied", "flip": false, "react": "A curtsy. How polite. How completely out of place."}], "state": null, "classes": null}, " her wand. There was a bang, a smell of toast, and a sword clattered onto the table. It was made of ", {"slot": "s3", "kind": "noun", "gold": false, "orig": "wood", "opts": [{"id": "lex.noun.pudding", "v": "pudding", "text": "\"A sword,\" she announced, rolling up her sleeves. \"An enchanted sword, for the hero.\" She waved her wand. There was a bang, a smell of toast, and a sword clattered onto the table. It was made of pudding. It saluted, wobbled, and tried to lie down in a heroic puddle.", "flip": false, "react": "Naturally, the blade had custard-based opinions."}, {"id": "lex.noun.mop", "v": "mop", "text": "\"A sword,\" she announced, rolling up her sleeves. \"An enchanted sword, for the hero.\" She waved her wand. There was a bang, a smell of toast, and a sword clattered onto the table. It was made of mop. Its floppy strands drooped over the edge and polished three crumbs by accident.", "flip": false, "react": "At last, a weapon with household priorities."}, {"id": "lex.noun.teapot", "v": "teapot", "text": "\"A sword,\" she announced, rolling up her sleeves. \"An enchanted sword, for the hero.\" She waved her wand. There was a bang, a smell of toast, and a sword clattered onto the table. It was made of teapot. It had a spout, a handle, and tiny enamel teeth in the lid.", "flip": false, "react": "Splendid. Armed crockery with a bite reflex."}, {"id": "lex.noun.trombone", "v": "trombone", "text": "\"A sword,\" she announced, rolling up her sleeves. \"An enchanted sword, for the hero.\" She waved her wand. There was a bang, a smell of toast, and a sword clattered onto the table. It was made of trombone. When it landed, it parped once, twice, then offered a very flat battle fanfare.", "flip": false, "react": "Nothing says destiny like brass at close range."}, {"id": "lex.noun.sock", "v": "sock", "text": "\"A sword,\" she announced, rolling up her sleeves. \"An enchanted sword, for the hero.\" She waved her wand. There was a bang, a smell of toast, and a sword clattered onto the table. It was made of sock. A lonely sock, too. It sagged nobly and smelled faintly of cupboard.", "flip": false, "react": "Heroism, now available in mismatched laundry."}, {"id": "lex.noun.cabbage", "v": "cabbage", "text": "\"A sword,\" she announced, rolling up her sleeves. \"An enchanted sword, for the hero.\" She waved her wand. There was a bang, a smell of toast, and a sword clattered onto the table. It was made of cabbage. Its leaves were layered, crisp, and far more dignified than the table deserved.", "flip": false, "react": "A noble blade, provided nobody made soup."}, {"id": "lex.noun.crumpet", "v": "crumpet", "text": "\"A sword,\" she announced, rolling up her sleeves. \"An enchanted sword, for the hero.\" She waved her wand. There was a bang, a smell of toast, and a sword clattered onto the table. It was made of crumpet. Butter pooled in the hilt, which was brave, sticky, and deeply breakfast-minded.", "flip": false, "react": "Behold, the breakfast of champions and poor grip."}, {"id": "lex.noun.wheelbarrow", "v": "wheelbarrow", "text": "\"A sword,\" she announced, rolling up her sleeves. \"An enchanted sword, for the hero.\" She waved her wand. There was a bang, a smell of toast, and a sword clattered onto the table. It was made of wheelbarrow. One handle stuck out like a hilt, and the little wheel squeaked with destiny.", "flip": false, "react": "Practical, if one intends to duel the landscaping."}, {"id": "lex.noun.accordion", "v": "accordion", "text": "\"A sword,\" she announced, rolling up her sleeves. \"An enchanted sword, for the hero.\" She waved her wand. There was a bang, a smell of toast, and a sword clattered onto the table. It was made of accordion. It wheezed open, squeezed shut, and played three notes that sounded worried.", "flip": false, "react": "The blade breathes. I disapprove of that feature."}, {"id": "lex.noun.umbrella", "v": "umbrella", "text": "\"A sword,\" she announced, rolling up her sleeves. \"An enchanted sword, for the hero.\" She waved her wand. There was a bang, a smell of toast, and a sword clattered onto the table. It was made of umbrella. It popped open indoors, which summoned three polite drops of rain and one offended beetle.", "flip": false, "react": "Indoor weather, because accuracy was apparently optional."}, {"id": "lex.noun.spoon", "v": "spoon", "text": "\"A sword,\" she announced, rolling up her sleeves. \"An enchanted sword, for the hero.\" She waved her wand. There was a bang, a smell of toast, and a sword clattered onto the table. It was made of spoon. A commemorative spoon, in fact, engraved with \"Mostly Sharp\" in tiny proud letters.", "flip": false, "react": "A collector's item, assuming one collects disappointment."}, {"id": "lex.noun.wardrobe", "v": "haunted wardrobe", "text": "\"A sword,\" she announced, rolling up her sleeves. \"An enchanted sword, for the hero.\" She waved her wand. There was a bang, a smell of toast, and a sword clattered onto the table. It was made of haunted wardrobe. Its doors creaked, sneezed dust, and whispered, \"Wrong quest,\" very softly.", "flip": false, "react": "Even the furniture knows this is irregular."}], "state": null, "classes": ["food", "object"]}, "."]}, {"anchor": false, "segs": ["\"Seventy percent right,\" she said cheerfully. \"That's my average.\" Then she gave Pip a ", {"slot": "s4", "kind": "noun", "gold": false, "orig": "map", "opts": [{"id": "lex.noun.pudding", "v": "pudding", "text": "\"Seventy percent right,\" she said cheerfully. \"That's my average.\" Then she gave Pip a pudding to the dragon's mountain. It was warm, wobbly, and faintly arrow-shaped. Pip held it the right way up. The Professor turned it the other way up. {sidekick} ate the corner and improved the route.", "flip": false, "react": "Cartography by dessert. Naturally, the custard knew north."}, {"id": "lex.noun.mop", "v": "mop", "text": "\"Seventy percent right,\" she said cheerfully. \"That's my average.\" Then she gave Pip a mop to the dragon's mountain. The handle pointed toward danger. The strings pointed toward mildew. Pip held it the right way up. The Professor turned it the other way up. {sidekick} ate the corner, which was mostly lint.", "flip": false, "react": "A navigational mop. At last, geography has damp ends."}, {"id": "lex.noun.teapot", "v": "teapot", "text": "\"Seventy percent right,\" she said cheerfully. \"That's my average.\" Then she gave Pip a teapot to the dragon's mountain. Steam curled from the spout in a tiny dotted path. It also had teeth, which was new and impolite. Pip held it the right way up. The Professor turned it the other way up. {sidekick} ate the corner and the teapot bit the saucer.", "flip": false, "react": "Helpful porcelain should not require a muzzle."}, {"id": "lex.noun.trombone", "v": "trombone", "text": "\"Seventy percent right,\" she said cheerfully. \"That's my average.\" Then she gave Pip a trombone to the dragon's mountain. The slide pointed north, then south, then honked at a cupboard. Pip held it the right way up. The Professor turned it the other way up. {sidekick} ate the corner, and the corner went \"parp.\"", "flip": false, "react": "Splendid. Now the mountain can hear them coming."}, {"id": "lex.noun.sock", "v": "sock", "text": "\"Seventy percent right,\" she said cheerfully. \"That's my average.\" Then she gave Pip a sock to the dragon's mountain. It was woolly, lonely, and embroidered with one crooked arrow. Pip held it the right way up. The Professor turned it the other way up. {sidekick} ate the corner, because socks have corners when magic is nervous.", "flip": false, "react": "A single sock. Even destiny has laundry problems."}, {"id": "lex.noun.cabbage", "v": "cabbage", "text": "\"Seventy percent right,\" she said cheerfully. \"That's my average.\" Then she gave Pip a cabbage to the dragon's mountain. Its leaves folded into hills, valleys, and one very dignified ravine. Pip held it the right way up. The Professor turned it the other way up. {sidekick} ate the corner and looked briefly noble.", "flip": false, "react": "Behold, the solemn cabbage of navigation."}, {"id": "lex.noun.crumpet", "v": "crumpet", "text": "\"Seventy percent right,\" she said cheerfully. \"That's my average.\" Then she gave Pip a crumpet to the dragon's mountain. Butter filled the holes in the shape of rivers, cliffs, and a warning blob. Pip held it the right way up. The Professor turned it the other way up. {sidekick} ate the corner, which was deliciously west.", "flip": false, "react": "Breakfast should not contain strategic terrain."}, {"id": "lex.noun.wheelbarrow", "v": "wheelbarrow", "text": "\"Seventy percent right,\" she said cheerfully. \"That's my average.\" Then she gave Pip a wheelbarrow to the dragon's mountain. It squeaked once for left, twice for right, and three times for panic. Pip held it the right way up. The Professor turned it the other way up. {sidekick} ate the corner of the little paper label.", "flip": false, "react": "Yes, why carry directions when directions can carry everything?"}, {"id": "lex.noun.accordion", "v": "accordion", "text": "\"Seventy percent right,\" she said cheerfully. \"That's my average.\" Then she gave Pip an accordion to the dragon's mountain. When squeezed, it unfolded hills, roads, and a wheeze shaped like a skull. Pip held it the right way up. The Professor turned it the other way up. {sidekick} ate the corner, and the bass buttons sighed.", "flip": false, "react": "A musical route. Every wrong turn gets accompaniment."}, {"id": "lex.noun.snail", "v": "snail", "text": "\"Seventy percent right,\" she said cheerfully. \"That's my average.\" Then she gave Pip a snail to the dragon's mountain. It wore a tiny crown and left a silver trail toward the door. Pip held it the right way up. The Professor turned it the other way up. {sidekick} ate the corner of its royal itinerary, not the snail.", "flip": false, "react": "The quest now proceeds at a majestic ooze."}, {"id": "lex.noun.umbrella", "v": "umbrella", "text": "\"Seventy percent right,\" she said cheerfully. \"That's my average.\" Then she gave Pip an umbrella to the dragon's mountain. When opened indoors, it rained on the table in a neat mountain shape. Pip held it the right way up. The Professor turned it the other way up. {sidekick} ate the corner and got a damp nose.", "flip": false, "react": "Indoor weather. Precisely what an expedition lacked."}, {"id": "lex.noun.spoon", "v": "spoon", "text": "\"Seventy percent right,\" she said cheerfully. \"That's my average.\" Then she gave Pip a spoon to the dragon's mountain. It was commemorative, silver, and engraved with a route too small for dignity. Pip held it the right way up. The Professor turned it the other way up. {sidekick} ate the corner of the ribbon tied to it.", "flip": false, "react": "Nothing says peril like souvenir cutlery."}, {"id": "lex.noun.wardrobe", "v": "haunted wardrobe", "text": "\"Seventy percent right,\" she said cheerfully. \"That's my average.\" Then she gave Pip a haunted wardrobe to the dragon's mountain. It shivered, opened one door, and showed a coat pointing north. Pip held it the right way up. The Professor turned it the other way up. {sidekick} ate the corner, and something inside whispered, \"Rude.\"", "flip": false, "react": "A haunted wardrobe. At least the directions have closet space."}], "state": null, "classes": ["object", "food", "creature"]}, " to the dragon's mountain. Pip held it the right way up. The Professor turned it the other way up. {sidekick} ate the corner."]}, {"anchor": false, "segs": ["\"One more thing, dear.\" She tapped Pip's chest, right over his heart, and for a moment she was not fumbling at all. \"Heroes aren't the ones who aren't scared. They're the ones who go anyway, and bring a ", {"slot": "s5", "kind": "noun", "gold": false, "orig": "snack", "opts": [{"id": "lex.noun.pudding", "v": "pudding", "text": "\"One more thing, dear.\" She tapped Pip's chest, right over his heart, and for a moment she was not fumbling at all. \"Heroes aren't the ones who aren't scared. They're the ones who go anyway, and bring a pudding.\" The pudding wobbled as if it agreed.", "flip": false, "react": "Yes, nothing steadies courage like a nervous dessert."}, {"id": "lex.noun.mop", "v": "mop", "text": "\"One more thing, dear.\" She tapped Pip's chest, right over his heart, and for a moment she was not fumbling at all. \"Heroes aren't the ones who aren't scared. They're the ones who go anyway, and bring a mop.\" She nodded toward the wooden sword. \"Adventures drip.\"", "flip": false, "react": "Practical, soggy, and not remotely what I ordered."}, {"id": "lex.noun.teapot", "v": "teapot", "text": "\"One more thing, dear.\" She tapped Pip's chest, right over his heart, and for a moment she was not fumbling at all. \"Heroes aren't the ones who aren't scared. They're the ones who go anyway, and bring a teapot.\" The teapot on the shelf clicked its tiny teeth.", "flip": false, "react": "A biting teapot. Splendid. Crockery has taken sides."}, {"id": "lex.noun.trombone", "v": "trombone", "text": "\"One more thing, dear.\" She tapped Pip's chest, right over his heart, and for a moment she was not fumbling at all. \"Heroes aren't the ones who aren't scared. They're the ones who go anyway, and bring a trombone.\" From the umbrella stand came a heroic honk.", "flip": false, "react": "At last, bravery with a brass warning label."}, {"id": "lex.noun.sock", "v": "sock", "text": "\"One more thing, dear.\" She tapped Pip's chest, right over his heart, and for a moment she was not fumbling at all. \"Heroes aren't the ones who aren't scared. They're the ones who go anyway, and bring a sock.\" She produced one lonely sock, folded like a tiny flag.", "flip": false, "react": "Behold, the single most depressing provision."}, {"id": "lex.noun.cabbage", "v": "cabbage", "text": "\"One more thing, dear.\" She tapped Pip's chest, right over his heart, and for a moment she was not fumbling at all. \"Heroes aren't the ones who aren't scared. They're the ones who go anyway, and bring a cabbage.\" The cabbage sat in solemn layers, like a green judge.", "flip": false, "react": "Courage, apparently, has excellent roughage."}, {"id": "lex.noun.crumpet", "v": "crumpet", "text": "\"One more thing, dear.\" She tapped Pip's chest, right over his heart, and for a moment she was not fumbling at all. \"Heroes aren't the ones who aren't scared. They're the ones who go anyway, and bring a crumpet.\" She buttered it with alarming ceremony.", "flip": false, "react": "A buttery destiny. Try not to drop it."}, {"id": "lex.noun.wheelbarrow", "v": "wheelbarrow", "text": "\"One more thing, dear.\" She tapped Pip's chest, right over his heart, and for a moment she was not fumbling at all. \"Heroes aren't the ones who aren't scared. They're the ones who go anyway, and bring a wheelbarrow.\" Its wheel squeaked once, bravely, then twice, unnecessarily.", "flip": false, "react": "Nothing says valor like gardening equipment with stage fright."}, {"id": "lex.noun.accordion", "v": "accordion", "text": "\"One more thing, dear.\" She tapped Pip's chest, right over his heart, and for a moment she was not fumbling at all. \"Heroes aren't the ones who aren't scared. They're the ones who go anyway, and bring an accordion.\" It wheezed in Pip's hands, sad, loud, and somehow accusatory.", "flip": false, "react": "The mountain will hear him before destiny does."}, {"id": "lex.noun.umbrella", "v": "umbrella", "text": "\"One more thing, dear.\" She tapped Pip's chest, right over his heart, and for a moment she was not fumbling at all. \"Heroes aren't the ones who aren't scared. They're the ones who go anyway, and bring an umbrella.\" At once, rain pattered politely inside the tower.", "flip": false, "react": "Indoor weather. Naturally, the roof is innocent."}, {"id": "lex.noun.spoon", "v": "spoon", "text": "\"One more thing, dear.\" She tapped Pip's chest, right over his heart, and for a moment she was not fumbling at all. \"Heroes aren't the ones who aren't scared. They're the ones who go anyway, and bring a spoon.\" The spoon was engraved, \"For Services to Soup.\"", "flip": false, "react": "A commemorative spoon. History trembles, but quietly."}, {"id": "lex.noun.wardrobe", "v": "haunted wardrobe", "text": "\"One more thing, dear.\" She tapped Pip's chest, right over his heart, and for a moment she was not fumbling at all. \"Heroes aren't the ones who aren't scared. They're the ones who go anyway, and bring a haunted wardrobe.\" The wardrobe sneezed dust, bowed, and shut itself politely.", "flip": false, "react": "Portable furniture. Haunted, of course. Very efficient nonsense."}], "state": null, "classes": ["food", "object"]}, ".\""]}], "opener": "Page four. Every hero needs a wise old wizard. This one is old, at least.", "aside": "So. A sword made of wood, a map that disagrees with itself, and some genuinely good advice. Two out of three is a very strong showing for Professor Fumblethorn.", "prize": ["noun", "wand"]}, {"id": "c1p5", "title": "The Sendoff", "scene": "s5_parade", "chars": ["gary"], "tutorial": false, "skippable": true, "mood": "triumphant", "paras": [{"anchor": false, "segs": ["The whole village turned out to see Pip off. There was a band, which was one man with a ", {"slot": "s1", "kind": "noun", "gold": false, "orig": "drum", "opts": [{"id": "lex.noun.pudding", "v": "pudding", "text": "The whole village turned out to see Pip off. There was a band, which was one man with a pudding, and every brave thump went plop, wobble, and regret. The banner said GOOD LUCK PIP, with the K painted in at the last minute.", "flip": false, "react": "A pudding section. Naturally, standards have fled the tent."}, {"id": "lex.noun.mop", "v": "mop", "text": "The whole village turned out to see Pip off. There was a band, which was one man with a mop, swishing it grandly like music could be scrubbed out of the road. The banner said GOOD LUCK PIP, with the K painted in at the last minute.", "flip": false, "react": "Ah, yes. Percussion for those who fear hygiene."}, {"id": "lex.noun.teapot", "v": "teapot", "text": "The whole village turned out to see Pip off. There was a band, which was one man with a teapot, and it clicked its tiny teeth on every beat. The banner said GOOD LUCK PIP, with the K painted in at the last minute.", "flip": false, "react": "One prefers tea to have fewer opinions."}, {"id": "lex.noun.trombone", "v": "trombone", "text": "The whole village turned out to see Pip off. There was a band, which was one man with a trombone, so every farewell sounded like a goose falling down stairs. The banner said GOOD LUCK PIP, with the K painted in at the last minute.", "flip": false, "react": "Subtlety has been flattened by brass."}, {"id": "lex.noun.sock", "v": "sock", "text": "The whole village turned out to see Pip off. There was a band, which was one man with a sock, limp, grey, and tragically solo. He snapped it against his palm for rhythm. The banner said GOOD LUCK PIP, with the K painted in at the last minute.", "flip": false, "react": "A lonely sock is not an orchestra, despite village funding."}, {"id": "lex.noun.cabbage", "v": "cabbage", "text": "The whole village turned out to see Pip off. There was a band, which was one man with a cabbage, held high with vegetable dignity before being thumped on the leaves. It made three sounds: thud, rustle, and salad. The banner said GOOD LUCK PIP, with the K painted in at the last minute.", "flip": false, "react": "At last, music with roughage."}, {"id": "lex.noun.crumpet", "v": "crumpet", "text": "The whole village turned out to see Pip off. There was a band, which was one man with a crumpet, buttery enough to leave fingerprints on the tune. He patted it twice, lost the third beat, and looked proud anyway. The banner said GOOD LUCK PIP, with the K painted in at the last minute.", "flip": false, "react": "Breakfast should not be asked to keep tempo."}, {"id": "lex.noun.wheelbarrow", "v": "wheelbarrow", "text": "The whole village turned out to see Pip off. There was a band, which was one man with a wheelbarrow, squeaking it forward, back, and accidentally into a bunting pole. The banner said GOOD LUCK PIP, with the K painted in at the last minute.", "flip": false, "react": "Transport and music, both poorly served."}, {"id": "lex.noun.accordion", "v": "accordion", "text": "The whole village turned out to see Pip off. There was a band, which was one man with an accordion, wheezing out a tune that sounded hopeful, tired, and full of attic dust. The banner said GOOD LUCK PIP, with the K painted in at the last minute.", "flip": false, "react": "Finally, an instrument. I am suspicious."}, {"id": "lex.noun.snail", "v": "snail", "text": "The whole village turned out to see Pip off. There was a band, which was one man with a snail, balanced on a cushion as if it were royalty. The music arrived slowly, proudly, and sometime after lunch. The banner said GOOD LUCK PIP, with the K painted in at the last minute.", "flip": false, "react": "A majestic tempo, if one has several spare weeks."}, {"id": "lex.noun.umbrella", "v": "umbrella", "text": "The whole village turned out to see Pip off. There was a band, which was one man with an umbrella, opening and closing it for rhythm until it rained indoors out of politeness. The banner said GOOD LUCK PIP, with the K painted in at the last minute.", "flip": false, "react": "Weather has joined the arts, to nobody's benefit."}, {"id": "lex.noun.spoon", "v": "spoon", "text": "The whole village turned out to see Pip off. There was a band, which was one man with a spoon, polished, commemorative, and much too pleased with itself. He tapped it on his knee like history was being served. The banner said GOOD LUCK PIP, with the K painted in at the last minute.", "flip": false, "react": "A spoon with a medal complex. Splendid."}, {"id": "lex.noun.wardrobe", "v": "haunted wardrobe", "text": "The whole village turned out to see Pip off. There was a band, which was one man with a haunted wardrobe, and every knock answered with a shy little boo. It creaked in three-part harmony, then ate a hat. The banner said GOOD LUCK PIP, with the K painted in at the last minute.", "flip": false, "react": "Furniture should not have a solo career."}], "state": null, "classes": ["object", "food", "creature"]}, ", and a banner that said GOOD LUCK PIP, with the K painted in at the last minute."]}, {"anchor": false, "segs": ["Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him a ", {"slot": "s2", "kind": "noun", "gold": false, "orig": "cabbage", "opts": [{"id": "lex.noun.pudding", "v": "pudding", "text": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him a pudding, which trembled bravely on its plate. The blacksmith gave him a lovely doily to steady it, or possibly to apologize to it. Old Tam gave him a lute with one string and said, \"For morale.\" Pip thanked everyone and meant it, even when the pudding saluted by wobbling. That is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry.", "flip": false, "react": "Naturally, destiny arrived with custard at the knees."}, {"id": "lex.noun.mop", "v": "mop", "text": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him a mop. It had a floppy head, a proud handle, and the air of a tired aunt. The blacksmith gave him a lovely doily, though no one could say where to pin it. Old Tam gave him a lute with one string and said, \"For morale.\" Pip thanked everyone and meant it, which made the mop droop respectfully. That is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry.", "flip": false, "react": "A hero's burden, apparently, is damp and stringy."}, {"id": "lex.noun.teapot", "v": "teapot", "text": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him a teapot. It was blue, chipped, and smiling with far too many tiny teeth. The blacksmith gave him a lovely doily, which everyone agreed was best kept between the teapot and the table. Old Tam gave him a lute with one string and said, \"For morale.\" Pip thanked everyone and meant it. The teapot clicked its lid in approval, which is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry.", "flip": false, "react": "Tea service should not require a safety briefing."}, {"id": "lex.noun.trombone", "v": "trombone", "text": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him a trombone. It gleamed in the sun and immediately said, \"Bwaap,\" though nobody had touched it. The blacksmith gave him a lovely doily, perhaps to mute the emotional parts. Old Tam gave him a lute with one string and said, \"For morale.\" Pip thanked everyone and meant it, which made the trombone sigh through its slide. That is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry, loudly.", "flip": false, "react": "At last, sentiment with a brass warning label."}, {"id": "lex.noun.sock", "v": "sock", "text": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him a sock. Just the one. It was gray, lonely, and folded as if trying not to be noticed. The blacksmith gave him a lovely doily, which made the sock look overdressed. Old Tam gave him a lute with one string and said, \"For morale.\" Pip thanked everyone and meant it, because a single sock still had feelings in Puddingshire. That is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry.", "flip": false, "react": "Nothing says farewell like half a pair of laundry."}, {"id": "lex.noun.cabbage", "v": "cabbage", "text": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him a cabbage. It was round, green, and dignified in the way only cabbages and minor officials manage. The blacksmith gave him a lovely doily. Old Tam gave him a lute with one string and said, \"For morale.\" Pip thanked everyone and meant it, which is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry.", "flip": false, "react": "Yes, yes, the noble cabbage marches again."}, {"id": "lex.noun.crumpet", "v": "crumpet", "text": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him a crumpet, warm enough to fog his spectacles if he had owned any. Butter shone in its little holes like treasure in polite caves. The blacksmith gave him a lovely doily, which caught most of the drips and all of the admiration. Old Tam gave him a lute with one string and said, \"For morale.\" Pip thanked everyone and meant it. That is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry, then ask for jam.", "flip": false, "react": "Heroism is improved by butter, regrettably."}, {"id": "lex.noun.wheelbarrow", "v": "wheelbarrow", "text": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him a wheelbarrow. It squeaked once for hello, twice for courage, and a third time for no reason at all. The blacksmith gave him a lovely doily, which he laid inside it like a tiny royal carpet. Old Tam gave him a lute with one string and said, \"For morale.\" Pip thanked everyone and meant it, while wondering how to hug a wheelbarrow. That is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry.", "flip": false, "react": "Practical, touching, and impossible to fit in a pocket."}, {"id": "lex.noun.accordion", "v": "accordion", "text": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him an accordion. It wheezed when she lifted it, wheezed when Pip held it, and wheezed when no one was near it. The blacksmith gave him a lovely doily, which looked very brave on the bellows. Old Tam gave him a lute with one string and said, \"For morale.\" Pip thanked everyone and meant it. The accordion answered with a sighing chord, which is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry.", "flip": false, "react": "Splendid. The luggage now breathes."}, {"id": "lex.noun.snail", "v": "snail", "text": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him a snail. It wore a bit of parsley like a crown and accepted the moment as its due. The blacksmith gave him a lovely doily, which became the snail's traveling estate. Old Tam gave him a lute with one string and said, \"For morale.\" Pip thanked everyone and meant it, slowly, so the snail could keep up. That is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry.", "flip": false, "react": "Behold, a farewell gift with its own timetable."}, {"id": "lex.noun.umbrella", "v": "umbrella", "text": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him an umbrella. It popped open indoors and rained three neat drops on his shoes. The blacksmith gave him a lovely doily, which made a poor roof but an excellent statement. Old Tam gave him a lute with one string and said, \"For morale.\" Pip thanked everyone and meant it, while the umbrella dripped with importance. That is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry, or possibly leak.", "flip": false, "react": "Indoor weather, the surest sign of village planning."}, {"id": "lex.noun.spoon", "v": "spoon", "text": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him a spoon. It had PIP'S GREAT JOURNEY scratched along the handle, with the apostrophe in a suspicious mood. The blacksmith gave him a lovely doily, so the spoon could rest between ceremonies. Old Tam gave him a lute with one string and said, \"For morale.\" Pip thanked everyone and meant it, which is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry into its commemorative cutlery.", "flip": false, "react": "A spoon: for soup, destiny, and engraved anxiety."}, {"id": "lex.noun.wardrobe", "v": "haunted wardrobe", "text": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him a haunted wardrobe. It stood behind her, shyly creaking, with one sleeve waving from inside. The blacksmith gave him a lovely doily, which the wardrobe wore on its knob like a bonnet. Old Tam gave him a lute with one string and said, \"For morale.\" Pip thanked everyone and meant it, even when the wardrobe whispered, \"Nice boots.\" That is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry.", "flip": false, "react": "Of course the furniture has opinions now."}], "state": "gift", "classes": ["food", "object", "creature"]}, ". The blacksmith gave him a ", {"slot": "s3", "kind": "adj", "gold": false, "orig": "lovely", "opts": [{"id": "lex.adj.damp", "v": "damp", "text": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him a cabbage, still wearing three proud drops of wash water. The blacksmith gave him a damp doily. It sagged over Pip's hand like a tired jellyfish. Old Tam gave him a lute with one string and said, \"For morale.\" Pip thanked everyone and meant it, then wrung out the doily into his boot, which is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry.", "flip": false, "react": "Naturally, the lace required drainage."}, {"id": "lex.adj.tiny", "v": "tiny", "text": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him a cabbage. The blacksmith gave him a tiny doily, so small it could only protect one crumb, one pea, or one very important button. Old Tam gave him a lute with one string and said, \"For morale.\" Pip thanked everyone and meant it, squinting politely at the doily, which is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry.", "flip": false, "react": "A heroic textile, provided one is a beetle."}, {"id": "lex.adj.enormous", "v": "enormous", "text": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him a cabbage. The blacksmith gave him an enormous doily. Four villagers had to unfold it, and a fifth got lost in the lace. Old Tam gave him a lute with one string and said, \"For morale.\" Pip thanked everyone and meant it, wearing the doily like a ceremonial snowdrift, which is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry.", "flip": false, "react": "At last, lace with load-bearing ambitions."}, {"id": "lex.adj.sparkly", "v": "sparkly", "text": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him a cabbage. The blacksmith gave him a sparkly doily, which flashed in the sun, dazzled three hens, and made the cabbage look underdressed. Old Tam gave him a lute with one string and said, \"For morale.\" Pip thanked everyone and meant it, blinking bravely, which is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry.", "flip": false, "react": "Nothing says farewell like aggressive glitter."}, {"id": "lex.adj.haunted", "v": "haunted", "text": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him a cabbage. The blacksmith gave him a haunted doily. It sighed in lace, rattled one teacup, and spelled OOO in crumbs. Old Tam gave him a lute with one string and said, \"For morale.\" Pip thanked everyone and meant it, though he thanked the doily separately, which is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry.", "flip": false, "react": "Even the linen has unfinished business."}, {"id": "lex.adj.sleepy", "v": "sleepy", "text": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him a cabbage. The blacksmith gave him a sleepy doily. It yawned once, curled at the corners, and immediately tucked itself under the cabbage. Old Tam gave him a lute with one string and said, \"For morale.\" Pip thanked everyone and meant it, whispering so as not to wake the lace, which is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry.", "flip": false, "react": "Doilies do require their little naps, apparently."}, {"id": "lex.adj.suspicious", "v": "suspicious", "text": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him a cabbage. The blacksmith gave him a suspicious doily. It watched the cabbage, distrusted the lute, and seemed to know exactly where Pip kept his biscuits. Old Tam gave him a lute with one string and said, \"For morale.\" Pip thanked everyone and meant it, while keeping both eyes on the lace, which is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry.", "flip": false, "react": "I have never trusted ornamental holes."}, {"id": "lex.adj.fluffy", "v": "fluffy", "text": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him a cabbage. The blacksmith gave him a fluffy doily, more cloud than craft, with soft loops that tickled Pip's chin. Old Tam gave him a lute with one string and said, \"For morale.\" Pip thanked everyone and meant it, sneezed twice, and apologized to the doily, which is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry.", "flip": false, "react": "A doily should not shed like a sheep."}, {"id": "lex.adj.legally", "v": "legally distinct", "text": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him a cabbage. The blacksmith gave him a legally distinct doily. It was not, according to a small tag, a doily, but a Decorative Circular Table Companion. Old Tam gave him a lute with one string and said, \"For morale.\" Pip thanked everyone and meant it, which satisfied the tag's many tiny clauses and made a whole village cry.", "flip": false, "react": "Ah yes, lace with a solicitor."}, {"id": "lex.adj.sticky", "v": "sticky", "text": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him a cabbage. The blacksmith gave him a sticky doily. It clung to Pip's sleeve, then to the cabbage, then to Old Tam's elbow with perfect confidence. Old Tam gave him a lute with one string and said, \"For morale.\" Pip thanked everyone and meant it, lifting one arm very carefully, which is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry.", "flip": false, "react": "Traditional blacksmithing: iron, sparks, and gluey lace."}, {"id": "lex.adj.majestic", "v": "majestic", "text": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him a cabbage. The blacksmith gave him a majestic doily. It sat upon Pip's palms like a lace crown, a snowy map, a royal pancake. Old Tam gave him a lute with one string and said, \"For morale.\" Pip bowed to it before he could stop himself. Then he thanked everyone and meant it, which is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry.", "flip": false, "react": "One must never underestimate regal table linen."}, {"id": "lex.adj.upsidedown", "v": "upside down", "text": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him a cabbage. The blacksmith gave him an upside down doily. Nobody could explain how a flat thing had managed it, but there it was, wrong side proudly facing the sky. Old Tam gave him a lute with one string and said, \"For morale.\" Pip thanked everyone and meant it, careful not to turn the doily right side up and offend physics, which is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry.", "flip": false, "react": "Splendid. Now even flat objects have opinions."}], "state": null, "classes": null}, " doily. Old Tam gave him a lute with ", {"slot": "s4", "kind": "num", "gold": false, "orig": "one", "opts": [{"id": "num.zero", "v": "zero", "text": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him a cabbage. The blacksmith gave him a lovely doily. Old Tam gave him a lute with zero strings and said, \"For morale.\" He strummed it anyway. It made the sound of a polite thought. Pip thanked everyone and meant it, which is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry.", "flip": false, "react": "A stringless lute. At last, music with the decency to stay theoretical."}, {"id": "num.two", "v": "two", "text": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him a cabbage. The blacksmith gave him a lovely doily. Old Tam gave him a lute with two strings and said, \"For morale.\" One string sounded brave. The other sounded worried. Together they produced a tune like a heroic goose. Pip thanked everyone and meant it, which is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry.", "flip": false, "react": "Two strings. Lavish, by Puddingshire standards. Reckless, even."}, {"id": "num.three", "v": "three", "text": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him a cabbage. The blacksmith gave him a lovely doily. Old Tam gave him a lute with three strings and said, \"For morale.\" Pip plucked them once. They made a chord, a twang, and a small noise of complaint. The village agreed it was practically an orchestra. Pip thanked everyone and meant it, which is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry.", "flip": false, "react": "Three strings and already everyone is calling it culture."}, {"id": "num.seven", "v": "seven", "text": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him a cabbage. The blacksmith gave him a lovely doily. Old Tam gave him a lute with seven strings and said, \"For morale.\" It had more strings than Old Tam had teeth, and he was very proud of that ratio. Pip tried one note, found six more waiting, and bowed as if this had been planned. Pip thanked everyone and meant it, which is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry.", "flip": false, "react": "Seven strings. Naturally the sendoff became a mathematics lesson with knobs."}, {"id": "num.twelve", "v": "twelve", "text": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him a cabbage. The blacksmith gave him a lovely doily. Old Tam gave him a lute with twelve strings and said, \"For morale.\" It took two hands to hold and three neighbors to stop it humming sympathetically at pigeons. Pip did not know where to put his fingers, so he put gratitude on his face instead. Pip thanked everyone and meant it, which is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry.", "flip": false, "react": "Twelve strings. Because apparently morale must arrive tangled."}, {"id": "num.a hundred", "v": "a hundred", "text": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him a cabbage. The blacksmith gave him a lovely doily. Old Tam gave him a lute with a hundred strings and said, \"For morale.\" It looked less like an instrument and more like a fence that had taken lessons. When Pip lifted it, the lute sighed, the cabbage trembled, and the doily developed stage fright. Pip thanked everyone and meant it, which is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry.", "flip": false, "react": "A hundred strings. Subtle as a haystack in a teacup."}], "state": null, "classes": null}, " string and said, \"For morale.\" Pip thanked everyone and meant it, which is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry."]}, {"anchor": false, "segs": ["Off to one side, a very large man in overalls ", {"slot": "v2", "kind": "verb", "gold": false, "orig": "swept", "form": "past", "who": "gary", "opts": [{"id": "lex.verb.curtsy", "v": "curtsied", "flip": false, "react": "A curtsy. How polite. How completely out of place."}, {"id": "lex.verb.wriggle", "v": "wriggled", "flip": false, "react": "Wriggled. Like a worm in a bad mood."}, {"id": "lex.verb.sneeze", "v": "sneezed", "flip": false, "react": "Sneezed. Bless you. Bless the whole sentence. It needs it."}, {"id": "lex.verb.hulahoop", "v": "hula hooped", "flip": false, "react": "Hula hooping. There were no hoops in the original. I counted."}, {"id": "lex.verb.bellow", "v": "bellowed", "flip": false, "react": "Bellowed. Inside voices, please. This is very nearly a library."}, {"id": "lex.verb.yodel", "v": "yodelled", "flip": false, "react": "Yodelling. Of course. The mountains will be furious."}, {"id": "lex.verb.waltz", "v": "waltzed", "flip": false, "react": "Waltzed. One two three, one two three, oh, it's ruined, one two three."}, {"id": "lex.verb.skip", "v": "skipped", "flip": false, "react": "Skipping. Merrily, I suppose. Everything is merry now. Wonderful."}, {"id": "lex.verb.quack", "v": "quacked", "flip": false, "react": "Quacked. Please don't tell the goose."}, {"id": "lex.verb.tango", "v": "tangoed", "flip": false, "react": "A tango. One does not tango alone. And yet here we are."}, {"id": "lex.verb.somersault", "v": "somersaulted", "flip": false, "react": "A somersault. At that age. Somebody fetch a cushion."}, {"id": "lex.verb.juggle", "v": "juggled", "flip": false, "react": "Juggling. Nobody asked for juggling. Nobody ever asks for juggling."}, {"id": "lex.verb.haggle", "v": "haggled", "flip": false, "react": "Haggled. Over what, I can't think. Everything in this book is free. Except my patience."}, {"id": "lex.verb.gallop", "v": "galloped", "flip": false, "react": "Galloped. With no horse. I want that noted."}], "state": null, "classes": null}, " up the confetti. Nobody knew who he was. He had been sweeping up after things in Puddingshire for as long as anyone could remember. He smiled at Pip, and Pip smiled back. That was ", {"slot": "s5", "kind": "char", "gold": false, "orig": "Gary", "opts": [{"id": "lex.char.thistle", "v": "Grandma Thistle", "text": "Off to one side, a tiny retired sword-swallower in combat boots swept up the confetti with two knitting needles and a dustpan. Nobody knew why she had been invited. She had been tidying up after things in Puddingshire for as long as anyone could remember, and correcting everyone's posture for nearly as long. She smiled at Pip, and Pip stood straighter at once. That was Grandma Thistle.", "flip": true, "react": "Naturally, the broom has been outsourced to a weaponized grandmother."}, {"id": "lex.char.ducks", "v": "A Committee of Ducks", "text": "Off to one side, A Committee of Ducks in five neat neckties swept up the confetti. Nobody knew who had put them in charge of sweeping. They had been sweeping up after things in Puddingshire for as long as anyone could remember, though every pile required a vote, a tie, and a lot of quacking. They smiled at Pip, in committee, and Pip smiled back. That was A Committee of Ducks.", "flip": true, "react": "Five neckties, no conclusions, and somehow less confetti."}, {"id": "lex.char.bear", "v": "A Very Polite Bear", "text": "Off to one side, A Very Polite Bear in a waistcoat swept up the confetti. Nobody knew who he was, though he apologized to each scrap before brushing it aside. He had been sweeping up after things in Puddingshire for as long as anyone could remember. He smiled at Pip, apologized for smiling, and Pip smiled back. That was A Very Polite Bear.", "flip": true, "react": "At last, sanitation with manners and claws."}, {"id": "lex.char.crumbsworth", "v": "Sir Crumbsworth", "text": "Off to one side, Sir Crumbsworth swept up the confetti in icing armor that clicked, flaked, and left a heroic little trail of sugar. Nobody knew who he was. He had been sweeping up after things in Puddingshire for as long as anyone could remember, brave beyond reason and slightly stale on the left side. He smiled at Pip, and Pip smiled back carefully. That was Sir Crumbsworth.", "flip": true, "react": "A biscuit knight doing janitorial work. Chivalry has branched out."}, {"id": "lex.char.gary", "v": "Gary, the Night Janitor", "text": "Off to one side, a very large man in overalls swept up the confetti after everyone had finished making a magnificent mess of it. Nobody knew who he was. He had been sweeping up after things in Puddingshire for as long as anyone could remember, usually at night, and usually without asking for a single thank-you. He smiled at Pip with three teeth, and Pip smiled back. That was Gary, the Night Janitor.", "flip": false, "react": "Ah, yes. The mysterious custodian acquires a title. Dangerous progress."}], "state": null, "classes": null}, "."]}, {"anchor": true, "segs": ["Then the King waved a hanky from the castle balcony, the band hit his drum, and Pip ", {"slot": "v1", "kind": "verb", "gold": false, "orig": "marched", "form": "past", "who": "pip", "opts": [{"id": "lex.verb.dither", "v": "dithered", "flip": false, "react": "Dithered. At the most important moment. A bold choice. Or not. Hard to say."}, {"id": "lex.verb.warble", "v": "warbled", "flip": false, "react": "Warbling. High, wobbly and far too long. Rather like this chapter, now."}, {"id": "lex.verb.skip", "v": "skipped", "flip": false, "react": "Skipping. Merrily, I suppose. Everything is merry now. Wonderful."}, {"id": "lex.verb.waddle", "v": "waddled", "flip": false, "react": "Waddled. You've made it waddle. With dignity, I hope. No? No dignity at all."}, {"id": "lex.verb.yodel", "v": "yodelled", "flip": false, "react": "Yodelling. Of course. The mountains will be furious."}, {"id": "lex.verb.knit", "v": "knitted", "flip": false, "react": "Knitting. In the middle of the action. I suppose somebody has to make the scarves."}, {"id": "lex.verb.tango", "v": "tangoed", "flip": false, "react": "A tango. One does not tango alone. And yet here we are."}, {"id": "lex.verb.bellyflop", "v": "belly flopped", "flip": false, "react": "A belly flop. That will sting. Good."}, {"id": "lex.verb.somersault", "v": "somersaulted", "flip": false, "react": "A somersault. At that age. Somebody fetch a cushion."}, {"id": "lex.verb.gossip", "v": "gossiped", "flip": false, "react": "Gossiping. Don't look at me. I only report what happened."}, {"id": "lex.verb.waltz", "v": "waltzed", "flip": false, "react": "Waltzed. One two three, one two three, oh, it's ruined, one two three."}, {"id": "lex.verb.hiccup", "v": "hiccupped", "flip": false, "react": "Hiccupped. Hold your breath and count to ten. Not you. The story."}, {"id": "lex.verb.tiptoe", "v": "tiptoed", "flip": false, "react": "Tiptoed. Then I shall read this bit very quietly, so as not to spoil it."}, {"id": "lex.verb.gargle", "v": "gargled", "flip": false, "react": "Gargling. That is the exact noise I make when I read your edits."}], "state": null, "classes": null}, " out of Puddingshire, ", {"slot": "s6", "kind": "adj", "gold": false, "orig": "brave", "opts": [{"id": "lex.adj.damp", "v": "damp", "text": "Then the King waved a hanky from the castle balcony, the band hit his drum, and Pip marched out of Puddingshire, damp as anything. His socks squeaked. His hair dripped. His farewell cabbage left a wet little trail like a slug with ambitions. He went out the wrong gate. {sidekick} bit him until he came back and used the right one.", "flip": false, "react": "A soggy hero still counts, regrettably."}, {"id": "lex.adj.tiny", "v": "tiny", "text": "Then the King waved a hanky from the castle balcony, the band hit his drum, and Pip marched out of Puddingshire, tiny as anything. The crowd had to squint. The banner drooped lower, out of politeness. A beetle saluted him and looked enormous. He went out the wrong gate. {sidekick} bit him until he came back and used the right one.", "flip": false, "react": "Heroism does come in inconvenient sizes."}, {"id": "lex.adj.enormous", "v": "enormous", "text": "Then the King waved a hanky from the castle balcony, the band hit his drum, and Pip marched out of Puddingshire, enormous as anything. His shadow left first. His boots found three puddles and one unfortunate turnip. The gate seemed suddenly underqualified. He went out the wrong gate. {sidekick} bit him until he came back and used the right one.", "flip": false, "react": "Subtlety has clearly taken the afternoon off."}, {"id": "lex.adj.sparkly", "v": "sparkly", "text": "Then the King waved a hanky from the castle balcony, the band hit his drum, and Pip marched out of Puddingshire, sparkly as anything. Sunlight bounced off his elbows, his buttons, and one heroic ear. Several villagers shaded their eyes with cabbages. He went out the wrong gate. {sidekick} bit him until he came back and used the right one.", "flip": false, "react": "Nothing says peril like unnecessary glitter."}, {"id": "lex.adj.haunted", "v": "haunted", "text": "Then the King waved a hanky from the castle balcony, the band hit his drum, and Pip marched out of Puddingshire, haunted as anything. A cold breeze followed him. The drum gave one nervous thump, then another, then a tiny apology. Pip nodded to shadows that were not officially invited. He went out the wrong gate. {sidekick} bit him until he came back and used the right one.", "flip": false, "react": "Splendid. Even the sendoff has drafts now."}, {"id": "lex.adj.sleepy", "v": "sleepy", "text": "Then the King waved a hanky from the castle balcony, the band hit his drum, and Pip marched out of Puddingshire, sleepy as anything. He yawned at the banner. He saluted a shrub. He nearly thanked his own boot for coming. He went out the wrong gate. {sidekick} bit him until he came back and used the right one.", "flip": false, "react": "A bold march, if one ignores the snoring."}, {"id": "lex.adj.suspicious", "v": "suspicious", "text": "Then the King waved a hanky from the castle balcony, the band hit his drum, and Pip marched out of Puddingshire, suspicious as anything. He eyed the hanky. He eyed the drum. He especially eyed a pebble that looked far too casual. He went out the wrong gate. {sidekick} bit him until he came back and used the right one.", "flip": false, "react": "Yes, Pip, distrust the architecture. Very useful."}, {"id": "lex.adj.fluffy", "v": "fluffy", "text": "Then the King waved a hanky from the castle balcony, the band hit his drum, and Pip marched out of Puddingshire, fluffy as anything. His cloak puffed. His hair puffed. Even his serious expression had little rounded edges. A passing breeze tried to adopt him. He went out the wrong gate. {sidekick} bit him until he came back and used the right one.", "flip": false, "react": "Danger will be terrified by all that softness."}, {"id": "lex.adj.legally", "v": "legally distinct", "text": "Then the King waved a hanky from the castle balcony, the band hit his drum, and Pip marched out of Puddingshire, legally distinct as anything. He resembled a hero, but not enough to cause paperwork. His hat was similar, his stride was comparable, and his destiny had a different trim. He went out the wrong gate. {sidekick} bit him until he came back and used the right one.", "flip": false, "react": "Ah, adventure by technicality. My favorite loophole."}, {"id": "lex.adj.sticky", "v": "sticky", "text": "Then the King waved a hanky from the castle balcony, the band hit his drum, and Pip marched out of Puddingshire, sticky as anything. Confetti clung to his sleeves. The banner tried to come along. A farewell spoon attached itself to his boot with dreadful loyalty. He went out the wrong gate. {sidekick} bit him until he came back and used the right one.", "flip": false, "react": "Wonderful. The hero now collects scenery."}, {"id": "lex.adj.majestic", "v": "majestic", "text": "Then the King waved a hanky from the castle balcony, the band hit his drum, and Pip marched out of Puddingshire, majestic as anything. His chin rose. His cape fluttered. A goose bowed, though it later denied this. The villagers sniffled in proper rows. He went out the wrong gate. {sidekick} bit him until he came back and used the right one.", "flip": false, "react": "Majesty is no defense against poor navigation."}, {"id": "lex.adj.upsidedown", "v": "upside down", "text": "Then the King waved a hanky from the castle balcony, the band hit his drum, and Pip marched out of Puddingshire, upside down as anything. His feet waved politely in the air. His hair swept the road. The village applauded, partly impressed and partly checking gravity. He went out the wrong gate. {sidekick} bit him until he came back and used the right one.", "flip": false, "react": "Naturally, he still chose the wrong gate."}], "state": null, "classes": null}, " as anything. He went out the wrong gate. {sidekick} bit him until he came back and used the right one."]}], "opener": "Page five. A parade. I love a parade. Please do not ruin the parade.", "aside": "I have no idea who Gary is. He isn't in my notes. He isn't in any of my notes. I'm going to choose to find that charming rather than terrifying.", "prize": ["noun", "doily"]}, {"id": "c1p6", "title": "First Night", "scene": "s6_camp", "chars": ["pip", "honk"], "tutorial": false, "skippable": false, "mood": "night", "paras": [{"anchor": false, "segs": ["By sundown they had reached the edge of the ", {"slot": "s1", "kind": "adj", "gold": false, "orig": "Whispering", "opts": [{"id": "lex.adj.damp", "v": "damp", "text": "By sundown they had reached the edge of the damp Forest, where the trees leaned in close, dripping on hats, boots, and one very offended breadcrumb.", "flip": false, "react": "Naturally, the scenery has begun perspiring."}, {"id": "lex.adj.tiny", "v": "tiny", "text": "By sundown they had reached the edge of the tiny Forest, where the trees leaned in close because there was hardly room for bark, branches, or dignity.", "flip": false, "react": "A forest, yes, but with ambitions of being a shrub."}, {"id": "lex.adj.enormous", "v": "enormous", "text": "By sundown they had reached the edge of the enormous Forest, where the trees leaned in close from very far away, which made the gossip arrive late.", "flip": false, "react": "Subtlety, apparently, required a larger hat."}, {"id": "lex.adj.sparkly", "v": "sparkly", "text": "By sundown they had reached the edge of the sparkly Forest, where the trees leaned in close, glittering like crowns, puddles, and trouble with excellent lighting.", "flip": false, "react": "Ah yes, peril, now with sequins."}, {"id": "lex.adj.haunted", "v": "haunted", "text": "By sundown they had reached the edge of the haunted Forest, where the trees leaned in close, as if the gossip had unfinished business.", "flip": false, "react": "Of course the rumors are deceased."}, {"id": "lex.adj.sleepy", "v": "sleepy", "text": "By sundown they had reached the edge of the sleepy Forest, where the trees leaned in close, yawned leaves, creaked softly, and forgot the gossip halfway through.", "flip": false, "react": "Even the ominous woodland needs a nap, evidently."}, {"id": "lex.adj.suspicious", "v": "suspicious", "text": "By sundown they had reached the edge of the suspicious Forest, where the trees leaned in close, as if measuring Pip for blame, pie theft, or treason.", "flip": false, "react": "Wonderful. The trees have formed a committee."}, {"id": "lex.adj.fluffy", "v": "fluffy", "text": "By sundown they had reached the edge of the fluffy Forest, where the trees leaned in close, soft as pillows, sheep, and lies told before bedtime.", "flip": false, "react": "A cuddly forest is still a forest, regrettably."}, {"id": "lex.adj.legally", "v": "legally distinct", "text": "By sundown they had reached the edge of the legally distinct Forest, where the trees leaned in close, but not so close as to invite comparison.", "flip": false, "react": "Splendid. Even the shrubbery has counsel."}, {"id": "lex.adj.sticky", "v": "sticky", "text": "By sundown they had reached the edge of the sticky Forest, where the trees leaned in close and kept small feathers, old leaves, and one bad decision.", "flip": false, "react": "I see we have varnished the danger."}, {"id": "lex.adj.majestic", "v": "majestic", "text": "By sundown they had reached the edge of the majestic Forest, where the trees leaned in close like kings, queens, and one duke pretending not to listen.", "flip": false, "react": "At last, gossip with proper posture."}, {"id": "lex.adj.upsidedown", "v": "upside down", "text": "By sundown they had reached the edge of the upside down Forest, where the trees leaned in close from their roots, which was rude, muddy, and impressive.", "flip": false, "react": "Gravity has filed its resignation, I see."}], "state": null, "classes": null}, " Forest, where the trees leaned in close, as if they wanted to hear the gossip."]}, {"anchor": false, "segs": ["Pip built a small fire and roasted the {gift}, because that is what you do with a gift when you are hungry and nobody is watching. {sidekick} stood guard on a stump, still as a statue, glaring into the dark at anything that might be a fox, a wolf, or a ", {"slot": "s2", "kind": "noun", "gold": false, "orig": "badger", "opts": [{"id": "lex.noun.mop", "v": "mop", "text": "Pip built a small fire and roasted the {gift}, because that is what you do with a gift when you are hungry and nobody is watching. {sidekick} stood guard on a stump, still as a statue, glaring into the dark at anything that might be a fox, a wolf, or a mop with ideas. The mop flopped once in the bushes. Nobody respected it.", "flip": false, "react": "Naturally the cleaning supplies have ambitions now."}, {"id": "lex.noun.teapot", "v": "teapot", "text": "Pip built a small fire and roasted the {gift}, because that is what you do with a gift when you are hungry and nobody is watching. {sidekick} stood guard on a stump, still as a statue, glaring into the dark at anything that might be a fox, a wolf, or a teapot with ideas. Something porcelain clicked its teeth in the ferns. Pip pretended not to hear the steeping.", "flip": false, "react": "A toothed teapot. Breakfast has become tactical."}, {"id": "lex.noun.trombone", "v": "trombone", "text": "Pip built a small fire and roasted the {gift}, because that is what you do with a gift when you are hungry and nobody is watching. {sidekick} stood guard on a stump, still as a statue, glaring into the dark at anything that might be a fox, a wolf, or a trombone with ideas. From the bracken came one suspicious \"bworp.\" The guard pose became less secret.", "flip": false, "react": "Splendid. Stealth, but with brass."}, {"id": "lex.noun.sock", "v": "sock", "text": "Pip built a small fire and roasted the {gift}, because that is what you do with a gift when you are hungry and nobody is watching. {sidekick} stood guard on a stump, still as a statue, glaring into the dark at anything that might be a fox, a wolf, or a sock with ideas. A lonely sock sagged on a twig nearby. It looked like it had already made several poor choices.", "flip": false, "react": "Even the laundry is developing motives."}, {"id": "lex.noun.wheelbarrow", "v": "wheelbarrow", "text": "Pip built a small fire and roasted the {gift}, because that is what you do with a gift when you are hungry and nobody is watching. {sidekick} stood guard on a stump, still as a statue, glaring into the dark at anything that might be a fox, a wolf, or a wheelbarrow with ideas. Somewhere between two trees, a single wheel squeaked. It sounded like transport, treachery, and bad maintenance.", "flip": false, "react": "Ah yes, the dreaded agricultural getaway vehicle."}, {"id": "lex.noun.accordion", "v": "accordion", "text": "Pip built a small fire and roasted the {gift}, because that is what you do with a gift when you are hungry and nobody is watching. {sidekick} stood guard on a stump, still as a statue, glaring into the dark at anything that might be a fox, a wolf, or an accordion with ideas. The bushes wheezed three notes, then one regrettable flourish. Pip chewed faster.", "flip": false, "react": "Nothing says danger like portable wheezing."}, {"id": "lex.noun.snail", "v": "snail", "text": "Pip built a small fire and roasted the {gift}, because that is what you do with a gift when you are hungry and nobody is watching. {sidekick} stood guard on a stump, still as a statue, glaring into the dark at anything that might be a fox, a wolf, or a snail with ideas. A tiny silver trail crossed the path. It had the pace of a pebble and the confidence of a king.", "flip": false, "react": "At last, menace at one inch per minute."}, {"id": "lex.noun.umbrella", "v": "umbrella", "text": "Pip built a small fire and roasted the {gift}, because that is what you do with a gift when you are hungry and nobody is watching. {sidekick} stood guard on a stump, still as a statue, glaring into the dark at anything that might be a fox, a wolf, or an umbrella with ideas. It dripped from inside its own canopy. This was not weather. This was personality.", "flip": false, "react": "Wonderful. The rain has hired furniture."}, {"id": "lex.noun.spoon", "v": "spoon", "text": "Pip built a small fire and roasted the {gift}, because that is what you do with a gift when you are hungry and nobody is watching. {sidekick} stood guard on a stump, still as a statue, glaring into the dark at anything that might be a fox, a wolf, or a spoon with ideas. A commemorative teaspoon gleamed in the moss. It had a town crest, a dent, and far too much purpose.", "flip": false, "react": "Beware the souvenir with a mission."}, {"id": "lex.noun.bishop", "v": "bishop", "text": "Pip built a small fire and roasted the {gift}, because that is what you do with a gift when you are hungry and nobody is watching. {sidekick} stood guard on a stump, still as a statue, glaring into the dark at anything that might be a fox, a wolf, or a bishop with ideas. Two tremendous eyebrows hovered between the trees. They appeared to be considering a sermon.", "flip": false, "react": "Yes, let us add ecclesiastical eyebrows to the wilderness."}, {"id": "lex.noun.wardrobe", "v": "haunted wardrobe", "text": "Pip built a small fire and roasted the {gift}, because that is what you do with a gift when you are hungry and nobody is watching. {sidekick} stood guard on a stump, still as a statue, glaring into the dark at anything that might be a fox, a wolf, or a haunted wardrobe with ideas. The wardrobe creaked politely behind a pine. One hanger rattled, shy but committed.", "flip": false, "react": "A haunted wardrobe. Camping has become interior design."}], "state": null, "classes": ["creature", "person", "object"]}, " with ideas."]}, {"anchor": true, "segs": ["Far away, on top of Mount Grumblewhit, a curl of ", {"slot": "s3", "kind": "noun", "gold": false, "orig": "smoke", "opts": [{"id": "lex.noun.pudding", "v": "pudding", "text": "Far away, on top of Mount Grumblewhit, a curl of pudding rose into the moonlight. It wobbled. It plopped. It spelled out a word in custardy lumps, which is not the approved alphabet but did the job. Pip squinted. It was a very rude word, and also slightly steaming.", "flip": false, "react": "Naturally, dessert has chosen literacy over manners."}, {"id": "lex.noun.mop", "v": "mop", "text": "Far away, on top of Mount Grumblewhit, a curl of mop rose into the moonlight, dripping mountain water and old floor thoughts. It twisted. It flopped. It spelled out a word with its stringy head. Pip squinted. It was a very rude word, though impressively clean around the edges.", "flip": false, "react": "A mop, because menace apparently needed tidying."}, {"id": "lex.noun.teapot", "v": "teapot", "text": "Far away, on top of Mount Grumblewhit, a curl of teapot rose into the moonlight. It steamed. It rattled. It showed a neat row of little teeth around the lid, which was new and not welcome. Then it spelled out a word. Pip squinted. It was a very rude word, brewed strong.", "flip": false, "react": "I prefer my tea without dental arrangements."}, {"id": "lex.noun.trombone", "v": "trombone", "text": "Far away, on top of Mount Grumblewhit, a curl of trombone rose into the moonlight. It twisted. It looped. It blared each loop so loudly that three bats dropped their schedules. Then it spelled out a word in shiny brass. Pip squinted. It was a very rude word, and somehow in tune.", "flip": false, "react": "Subtlety has left by the nearest brass exit."}, {"id": "lex.noun.sock", "v": "sock", "text": "Far away, on top of Mount Grumblewhit, a curl of sock rose into the moonlight. It twisted. It sagged. It looped like laundry that had lost both its pair and its purpose. Then it spelled out a word. Pip squinted. It was a very rude word, with a hole in the middle.", "flip": false, "react": "Even the laundry has become disagreeable."}, {"id": "lex.noun.cabbage", "v": "cabbage", "text": "Far away, on top of Mount Grumblewhit, a curl of cabbage rose into the moonlight. It twisted. It looped. It arranged its leaves with great dignity, as cabbages will if nobody stops them. Then it spelled out a word. Pip squinted. It was a very rude word, but presented formally.", "flip": false, "react": "A vulgar cabbage is still a cabbage, regrettably."}, {"id": "lex.noun.crumpet", "v": "crumpet", "text": "Far away, on top of Mount Grumblewhit, a curl of crumpet rose into the moonlight. It twisted. It looped. Butter shone in its little holes like wicked stars. Then it spelled out a word. Pip squinted. It was a very rude word, crisp at the edges and entirely unsuitable for breakfast.", "flip": false, "react": "Breakfast has developed a shocking vocabulary."}, {"id": "lex.noun.wheelbarrow", "v": "wheelbarrow", "text": "Far away, on top of Mount Grumblewhit, a curl of wheelbarrow rose into the moonlight. It twisted. It looped. It squeaked on one invisible wheel, hauling its own nonsense uphill. Then it spelled out a word. Pip squinted. It was a very rude word, dumped neatly in the sky.", "flip": false, "react": "At least the insult arrived with proper transport."}, {"id": "lex.noun.accordion", "v": "accordion", "text": "Far away, on top of Mount Grumblewhit, a curl of accordion rose into the moonlight. It twisted. It wheezed. It looped while squeezing out three notes, each more suspicious than the last. Then it spelled out a word. Pip squinted. It was a very rude word, with bellows.", "flip": false, "react": "Wonderful. The mountain now insults us in polka."}, {"id": "lex.noun.snail", "v": "snail", "text": "Far away, on top of Mount Grumblewhit, a curl of snail rose into the moonlight. It twisted. It looped, eventually. It wore a tiny royal shell and left a silver trail across the sky. Then it spelled out a word. Pip squinted for quite some time. It was a very rude word.", "flip": false, "react": "The insult was slow, but it had ceremony."}, {"id": "lex.noun.umbrella", "v": "umbrella", "text": "Far away, on top of Mount Grumblewhit, a curl of umbrella rose into the moonlight. It twisted. It opened. It looped, and a patter of indoor rain fell upward under it, which was showing off. Then it spelled out a word. Pip squinted. It was a very rude word, neatly sheltered.", "flip": false, "react": "Rain indoors was bad enough before it learned spelling."}, {"id": "lex.noun.spoon", "v": "spoon", "text": "Far away, on top of Mount Grumblewhit, a curl of spoon rose into the moonlight. It twisted. It looped. It flashed like commemorative silver, the sort given for bravery, soup, or aunt-related victories. Then it spelled out a word. Pip squinted. It was a very rude word, reflected upside down.", "flip": false, "react": "A commemorative spoon should commemorate better behavior."}, {"id": "lex.noun.wardrobe", "v": "haunted wardrobe", "text": "Far away, on top of Mount Grumblewhit, a curl of haunted wardrobe rose into the moonlight. It twisted. It creaked. It looped while two tiny doors opened and shut like nervous teeth. Then it spelled out a word. Pip squinted. It was a very rude word, and something inside giggled.", "flip": false, "react": "Furniture should haunt quietly and leave typography alone."}], "state": null, "classes": ["object", "food", "creature"]}, " rose into the moonlight. It twisted. It looped. It spelled out a word. Pip squinted. It was a very ", {"slot": "s4", "kind": "adj", "gold": false, "orig": "rude", "opts": [{"id": "lex.adj.damp", "v": "damp", "text": "Far away, on top of Mount Grumblewhit, a curl of smoke rose into the moonlight. It twisted. It looped. It spelled out a word. Pip squinted. It was a very damp word, and even from there it made the moon look as if it needed a towel.", "flip": false, "react": "A damp word. Naturally the alphabet has mildew now."}, {"id": "lex.adj.tiny", "v": "tiny", "text": "Far away, on top of Mount Grumblewhit, a curl of smoke rose into the moonlight. It twisted. It looped. It spelled out a word. Pip squinted. It was a very tiny word, no bigger than a beetle's hat, which made it somehow more worrying.", "flip": false, "react": "Excellent. Menace, but in pocket size."}, {"id": "lex.adj.enormous", "v": "enormous", "text": "Far away, on top of Mount Grumblewhit, a curl of smoke rose into the moonlight. It twisted. It looped. It spelled out a word. Pip squinted, then stopped squinting, because there was no point. It was a very enormous word. The stars had to scoot over.", "flip": false, "react": "Subtle as a cupboard falling downstairs."}, {"id": "lex.adj.sparkly", "v": "sparkly", "text": "Far away, on top of Mount Grumblewhit, a curl of smoke rose into the moonlight. It twisted. It looped. It spelled out a word. Pip squinted. It was a very sparkly word, all glittering hooks and loops, like a threat dressed for a birthday party.", "flip": false, "react": "Nothing says doom like tasteful glitter."}, {"id": "lex.adj.haunted", "v": "haunted", "text": "Far away, on top of Mount Grumblewhit, a curl of smoke rose into the moonlight. It twisted. It looped. It spelled out a word. Pip squinted. It was a very haunted word. One of its letters rattled a tiny chain and looked personally disappointed.", "flip": false, "react": "Even the spelling has unfinished business."}, {"id": "lex.adj.sleepy", "v": "sleepy", "text": "Far away, on top of Mount Grumblewhit, a curl of smoke rose into the moonlight. It twisted. It looped. It spelled out a word. Pip squinted. It was a very sleepy word. The last letter yawned, sagged, and nearly fell off the sky.", "flip": false, "react": "Terrifying, if one fears naps."}, {"id": "lex.adj.suspicious", "v": "suspicious", "text": "Far away, on top of Mount Grumblewhit, a curl of smoke rose into the moonlight. It twisted. It looped. It spelled out a word. Pip squinted. It was a very suspicious word. It seemed to be spelling itself while glancing over both shoulders.", "flip": false, "react": "I mistrust any vowel with alibis."}, {"id": "lex.adj.fluffy", "v": "fluffy", "text": "Far away, on top of Mount Grumblewhit, a curl of smoke rose into the moonlight. It twisted. It looped. It spelled out a word. Pip squinted. It was a very fluffy word, with soft round edges and a little puff on the dot.", "flip": false, "react": "Ah yes, the dreaded cushion alphabet."}, {"id": "lex.adj.legally", "v": "legally distinct", "text": "Far away, on top of Mount Grumblewhit, a curl of smoke rose into the moonlight. It twisted. It looped. It spelled out a word. Pip squinted. It was a very legally distinct word. It resembled several rude words, but wore a small hat to avoid trouble.", "flip": false, "react": "The lawyers have reached Mount Grumblewhit. Splendid."}, {"id": "lex.adj.sticky", "v": "sticky", "text": "Far away, on top of Mount Grumblewhit, a curl of smoke rose into the moonlight. It twisted. It looped. It spelled out a word. Pip squinted. It was a very sticky word. Two letters clung together, and the moon got lint on its chin.", "flip": false, "react": "Now the sentence requires soap."}, {"id": "lex.adj.majestic", "v": "majestic", "text": "Far away, on top of Mount Grumblewhit, a curl of smoke rose into the moonlight. It twisted. It looped. It spelled out a word. Pip squinted. It was a very majestic word. Each letter stood tall, puffed its chest, and expected applause from the owls.", "flip": false, "react": "A royal proclamation, but smoky and showing off."}, {"id": "lex.adj.upsidedown", "v": "upside down", "text": "Far away, on top of Mount Grumblewhit, a curl of smoke rose into the moonlight. It twisted. It looped. It spelled out a word. Pip squinted. It was a very upside down word. He had to tilt his head until his cap nearly joined the fire.", "flip": false, "react": "Because reading danger normally was too convenient."}], "state": null, "classes": null}, " word."]}, {"anchor": true, "segs": ["\"That's the dragon,\" Pip whispered. {sidekick} said nothing, which for a goose is the same as agreeing. Somewhere, ", {"slot": "s5", "kind": "num", "gold": false, "orig": "twelve", "opts": [{"id": "num.zero", "v": "zero", "text": "\"That's the dragon,\" Pip whispered. {sidekick} said nothing, which for a goose is the same as agreeing. Somewhere, zero wolves howled. That was worse. The forest held its breath, its branches, and possibly a grudge. Pip held his sword close and did not sleep for a long, long time.", "flip": false, "react": "Ah yes, no wolves. Infinitely more suspicious."}, {"id": "num.one", "v": "one", "text": "\"That's the dragon,\" Pip whispered. {sidekick} said nothing, which for a goose is the same as agreeing. Somewhere, one wolf howled. It sounded lonely, offended, and very proud of its lungs. Pip held his sword close and did not sleep for a long, long time.", "flip": false, "react": "One wolf, performing a solo nobody requested."}, {"id": "num.two", "v": "two", "text": "\"That's the dragon,\" Pip whispered. {sidekick} said nothing, which for a goose is the same as agreeing. Somewhere, two wolves howled, not quite together. One began bravely, one joined late, and the trees judged both. Pip held his sword close and did not sleep for a long, long time.", "flip": false, "react": "A duet, naturally. The forest has terrible acoustics."}, {"id": "num.three", "v": "three", "text": "\"That's the dragon,\" Pip whispered. {sidekick} said nothing, which for a goose is the same as agreeing. Somewhere, three wolves howled. The first was deep, the second was wobbly, and the third had clearly practiced. Pip held his sword close and did not sleep for a long, long time.", "flip": false, "react": "Three wolves. A chorus with teeth. Charming."}, {"id": "num.seven", "v": "seven", "text": "\"That's the dragon,\" Pip whispered. {sidekick} said nothing, which for a goose is the same as agreeing. Somewhere, seven wolves howled. They came in one by one, like a dreadful counting lesson with fur. Pip held his sword close and did not sleep for a long, long time.", "flip": false, "react": "Seven is never casual. Seven has plans."}, {"id": "num.a hundred", "v": "a hundred", "text": "\"That's the dragon,\" Pip whispered. {sidekick} said nothing, which for a goose is the same as agreeing. Somewhere, a hundred wolves howled. The sound rolled over the roots, rattled the leaves, and made the fire sit up straighter. Pip held his sword close and did not sleep for a long, long time.", "flip": false, "react": "A hundred wolves. Subtle as a falling cupboard."}, {"id": "num.three hundred", "v": "three hundred", "text": "\"That's the dragon,\" Pip whispered. {sidekick} said nothing, which for a goose is the same as agreeing. Somewhere, three hundred wolves howled. The forest answered with creaks, squeaks, and one acorn falling in surrender. Pip held his sword close and did not sleep for a long, long time.", "flip": false, "react": "Three hundred? The minutes will be taking attendance."}, {"id": "num.a thousand", "v": "a thousand", "text": "\"That's the dragon,\" Pip whispered. {sidekick} said nothing, which for a goose is the same as agreeing. Somewhere, a thousand wolves howled. The moon looked startled. The stars pretended to be busy. Even the rude smoke seemed briefly polite. Pip held his sword close and did not sleep for a long, long time.", "flip": false, "react": "A thousand wolves. Excellent. Why have quiet dread?"}, {"id": "num.a million", "v": "a million", "text": "\"That's the dragon,\" Pip whispered. {sidekick} said nothing, which for a goose is the same as agreeing. Somewhere, a million wolves howled. The forest did not have room for a million wolves, so some of the howl had to queue politely outside. Pip held his sword close and did not sleep for a long, long time.", "flip": false, "react": "A million wolves, because arithmetic was feeling dramatic."}], "state": null, "classes": null}, " wolves ", {"slot": "v1", "kind": "verb", "gold": false, "orig": "howled", "form": "past", "who": null, "opts": [{"id": "lex.verb.waltz", "v": "waltzed", "flip": false, "react": "Waltzed. One two three, one two three, oh, it's ruined, one two three."}, {"id": "lex.verb.juggle", "v": "juggled", "flip": false, "react": "Juggling. Nobody asked for juggling. Nobody ever asks for juggling."}, {"id": "lex.verb.grovel", "v": "grovelled", "flip": false, "react": "Grovelling. Finally, somebody in this book shows proper respect."}, {"id": "lex.verb.gargle", "v": "gargled", "flip": false, "react": "Gargling. That is the exact noise I make when I read your edits."}, {"id": "lex.verb.sulk", "v": "sulked", "flip": false, "react": "Sulked. I know the feeling. I'm doing it now."}, {"id": "lex.verb.curtsy", "v": "curtsied", "flip": false, "react": "A curtsy. How polite. How completely out of place."}, {"id": "lex.verb.sneeze", "v": "sneezed", "flip": false, "react": "Sneezed. Bless you. Bless the whole sentence. It needs it."}, {"id": "lex.verb.serenade", "v": "serenaded", "flip": false, "react": "A serenade. Romantic. Wildly unsuitable. Carry on."}, {"id": "lex.verb.warble", "v": "warbled", "flip": false, "react": "Warbling. High, wobbly and far too long. Rather like this chapter, now."}, {"id": "lex.verb.gossip", "v": "gossiped", "flip": false, "react": "Gossiping. Don't look at me. I only report what happened."}, {"id": "lex.verb.haggle", "v": "haggled", "flip": false, "react": "Haggled. Over what, I can't think. Everything in this book is free. Except my patience."}, {"id": "lex.verb.tapdance", "v": "tap danced", "flip": false, "react": "Tap danced. I can hear the clicking. I'll be hearing it for weeks."}, {"id": "lex.verb.snore", "v": "snored", "flip": false, "react": "Snored. Mid sentence. I'm told that is my effect on audiences."}, {"id": "lex.verb.gallop", "v": "galloped", "flip": false, "react": "Galloped. With no horse. I want that noted."}], "state": null, "classes": null}, ". Pip held his sword close and did not sleep for a long, long time."]}], "opener": "Page six. Night falls. Atmospherically. I've practiced the atmosphere.", "aside": "And that is the end of Chapter One. A hero, a goose, a wooden sword, and a dragon who swears in smoke. Everything is going exactly to plan. My plan. Which is the book.", "prize": ["pack", "Prize Pack"]}]}